Page 31 of His Secret Highland Bride

“Treun! Come!” When the dog was through the door, it shut once more.

Lindsay sighed. She didn’t know how much time they had together, but she hoped it was enough.

…

Shane frowned at the little dog, though it wasn’t her fault he’d made such a fool of himself in his hurry to get out of the house. Away from his wife, to where he was safe from temptation.

“She certainly isn’t making it easy for me,” he said to his furry companion. “And I don’t have the strength to fight my own passions and hers as well.”

But giving in before he felt comfortable would only bring more guilt and regret. He didn’t know if he could bear even more guilt heaped upon his shoulders.

Tre looked up at him but offered no suggestion on what to do. But that was the crux of the problem. It wasn’t necessarily the wrong thing, was it? They were married before God and the church. It was expected of him to take his wife to his bed. One might even say it was his duty as her husband. But they hadn’t planned to have a real marriage. He’d given her his name to protect her—and to ease some of his guilt by helping a woman who needed him.

He liked Lindsay more each day he was with her, which was why he’d run away from her kisses yet again. He’d first avoided being with her because he didn’t think it would be fair to her to do so while thinking about Maria. But now…now he feared the guilt he’d feel if he didn’t think of Maria at all.

Anyone hearing his worries would no doubt think him mad, the way his thoughts flipped back and forth. Fear he wouldn’t be able to care for Lindsay, guilt when he did.

“I only promised protection. Nothing else,” he said to no one, for the dog had run off, leaving him to his fretting.

When the sky opened up and poured down upon him, Treun made a run for shelter back at the house. He’d faced lines of French muskets and the worst pain a person could endure; he shouldn’t be afraid of one Scottish lass. With a sigh, he turned to head back to the cottage. It was best to have this conversation and get everything out in the open.

“You sure picked a bad time for a walk,” Lindsay said with a smile as he came in and shook the rain from his hair.

“Aye. I wouldn’t say I picked it. But I’m back now, and I think we should see to straightening some things between us.”

She nodded, and as he watched, she caught her bottom lip between her teeth, nervously calling attention to the soft flesh he still remembered vividly against his mouth.

“I am trying to do the right thing,” he said. “And you…”

Are too tempting by half.

Will be the death of me.

Make me want to carry you off to my bed and keep you there for days.

Bring me joy when I don’t deserve to be happy.

He didn’t say any of those things. He waited for her to join in the conversation, but she remained silent.

“And you’re making it difficult for me to know what is right.” As soon as the words were out, he felt like an arse. Was he blaming her? He tried again. “I don’t mean to make it sound like you’ve done anything wrong. You certainly haven’t. I’m just not…ready.”

She nodded. “I’ll be here when you are, however long that may take.” She looked away from him. He was no stranger to guilt, which might be why he saw it so easily in Lindsay’s eyes. He didn’t know which part of her statement was untrue, but he was sure she’d just lied to him.

Chapter Twelve

Lindsay didn’t say anything else as she readied for bed. She worried if she spoke at all she might not be able to stop herself from telling him everything. She wasn’t a convincing liar, and she didn’t think she’d convinced Shane.

She lay there in the darkness, trying to hold in the truth. Rather than think on what might happen after harvest when her father arrived, she focused on how it had felt to kiss Shane. It was truly the most enjoyable thing she’d ever done. But she would do her best to avoid those heated glances that had them reaching for each other.

She knew she wasn’t alone in wanting. Shane had been equally as eager as she to continue. But she also knew her husband was healing from a great loss. She’d thought herself brave in leaving her home with only a maid and a few outriders. How many young women preferred to stay behind the safety of their castle walls?

She’d learned soon enough that her adventure was not as exciting as she’d planned. That the world was filled with danger. But this man made her glad she’d taken the risk. She couldn’t go back behind the wall now.

When her father came and demanded she marry the laird, she’d need to change his mind. Even if her da hated her, she’d fight to keep Shane. To stay with him, so they would have enough time to be the couple she believed they could be. Have the love she knew was brewing in them.

The very thought of standing up to her father made her stomach twist into knots.

She knew well enough how one stern look from him would send her to tears. She’d earned his ire last summer when she didn’t marry the Fletcher heir. That had been the silly fears of a girl, while this was so much more. But to her father it would seem the same. His rebellious daughter causing him disgrace yet again.