Page 219 of At First Catch

The thought settles heavily through me Friday morning while I stand alone in the marina apartment kitchen staring at two coffee mugs instead of one.

Mine and the one Hadley left behind the other day.

This apartment still smells like her. Vanilla candles. Salt air. The faint floral scent that always lingered on my sweatshirts after she wore them.

Home. Or at least it used to feel that way. Now the apartment feels hollow. Like someone removed the center of gravity from my life overnight.

I slept maybe two hours. Not consecutively.

Every time I closed my eyes, I heard her voice again.

I don’t think love is supposed to feel this lonely.

The memory slices straight through my chest all over again. Because she was right. That’s the unbearable thing about this breakup. Neither of us stopped loving the other person.

Love wasn’t the problem. Fear was.

I grip the kitchen counter harder while morning sunlight spills across the marina through the windows. Outside, life keeps moving: dock workers hauling supplies, tourists wandering the boardwalk, boats preparing for charter runs.

The marina survived another storm. Slip renewals have been coming in weeks earlier than usual. Walter says it’s the strongest season he’s seen in years. Local businesses have already committed to sponsoring next summer’s festivals. Every report says the same thing. People are investing in this place long before anyone asks them to.

Meanwhile, I destroyed the best thing that’s ever happened to me trying to protect everything too hard.

My phone buzzes against the counter.

Hope flares before logic crushes it a second later.

Not Hadley, but Walter.

Walter

Meeting at ten. Don’t spiral beforehand.

Too late. I already am.

I force myself through a shower, into clothes, and into movement purely because standing still hurts worse.

Every room in the apartment feels haunted now. The couch where Hadley curled against me during storms. Her favorite oversized sweatshirt still draped across the chair near the bedroom. The dog treats she started keeping beside the fridge for Rook.

Evidence. Proof that somebody loved me enough to build a life here beside me. And I still managed to lose her anyway.

By the time I make it downstairs to the marina office, exhaustion buzzes painfully behind my eyes.

Walter takes one look at me and grimaces. “Jesus.”

I lean against the office doorway. “She left.”

A gentle warmth spreads across Walter’s features, his eyes crinkling at the corners as a faint smile touches his lips.

“You surprise me every day with your emotional intelligence,” I mutter.

Walter snorts. “Sit down before you fall.”

I collapse into the office chair heavily while the sunlight glitters across Back Bay beyond the windows.

The marina looks beautiful this morning. Alive. Warm. Which makes the emptiness inside me feel worse.

This place doesn’t feel like home without Hadley in it anymore.