Page 88 of The Bartender Special

Jack’s genuine curiosity kept Benny’s filter switch off.

“The game was frustrating and embarrassing and hurt a little,” he admitted. “I felt like I lost when the goal was just to have fun. But talking and lounging here with you? It doesn’t feel like a loss. Or a win. It’s just—” Benny paused to try to find a more articulate way to explain how he felt. He gave up and went for simple. “It feels normal. Safe from all the highs and lows that I needed my blog for. I’m not overwhelmed, not underwhelmed. I’m whelmed. It’s nice.”

Jack breathed out, Benny felt it against his chest.

Then he let go of Benny’s wrist.

For a moment, he thought he’d offended Jack.

“It’s probably because I’m the only one you don’t have to lie to.” Jack’s voice had lowered. It rumbled through Benny. “You don’t have to guard against me.”

Benny considered that a moment. He let his now-free hand rest on Jack’s shoulder. Moving the rest of him off the bartender never crossed his mind.

“I guess that could be it,” he obliged. “But, I don’t know. I think it’s also because it’s you.”

“Me? What’s special about me?”

Benny didn’t have to pause to consider this.

“You don’t wait for me.”

Jack’s eyebrow raised.

He hurried to elaborate.

“What I mean is— I’ve always felt like I’m in some kind of spot where people are waiting for me to do something. Go quiet, confess, gossip, break down, give up. Fix something, break something else. Grow. Wilt.”

Benny let out a long breath.

“Ever since my parents passed away, ever since I came out, ever since I decided to grind a billion part-time jobs so I can start my own business someday, ever since the world found out I never told my first love that it was love for me… I feel like people have just been waiting for me to do something. But you?” Benny let out a little laugh. “I told you, while hammered, that I wanted to marry the Golden Boy of Arbor Bay. And you didn’t wait to see what I did next. Even now, fake-dating to sell an ending to the story, you still just feel here. No pushing, no handing me a shovel to dig my own hole. You’re with me. No stress. Even your complaints are kind of comforting.”

That was the long and short of it, Benny decided then.

Jack Knox never made him feel like he had to perform. That he had to move. That he had to rise or fall.

He just was there.

And it was nice.

Benny smiled at the feeling.

Jack did something else.

He cupped the side of Benny’s face and pulled him through the short distance between them.

The kiss was soft.

Soft and warm.

Then it was over.

He pushed Benny away just enough to be able to stare him full in the face again.

Benny couldn’t place his expression.

Like the kiss, however, his words were soft.

“You might just break the tie after all, sweet cheeks.”