Page 90 of Asystole

“And?”

“And I’m afraid I’m going to fuck my whole life up by making the wrong choice.”

I’m getting closer to acknowledging this truth, but still, I don’t release it yet. Maybe I’m doing this backward. Maybe I need to break up with Kendra first.

When Logan speaks, his words are kind, but his shoulders remain tense, and he swallows hard.

“As long as it’s the right choice for you, that’s all that matters. I’m gonna head to bed,” he continues. “Maybe I’ll see you tomorrow. I know you’re on call. Don’t forget your lunch.”

Chapter 33

Logan

Ilie in bed because if Chase is camping out in the living room, I shouldn’t be in there. In nothing but sweatpants, his broad chest on full display, I had to sing children’s songs in my head to ensure my cock stayed down while he looked at me with those sad, tormented eyes.

The freckles on his shoulders were practically begging me to put my mouth on them, and the deep red happy trail ducking beneath his waistband damn near made my knees buckle.

I would’ve happily worshiped him the second I hit the ground.

Until I remembered that his girlfriend of a thousand years is asleep down the hall.

In his eyes, I see the war he’s waging on himself. In his voice, I hear how desperate he is for me to make this choice for him.

But I can’t.

It’s not my choice to make, and if I were to sway him in any way, we’d be doomed from the start as he grew to resent me.

I want him. That much is fucking obvious.

He wants me, too.

That’s also obvious if you look beneath the bullshit.

Since my body is wired to be awake right now, I’m not tired, and I’m still scrolling on my phone an hour later when there’s a soft knock on my door.

It’s so quiet I think I imagined it, until it comes again.

“Come in,” I call to the door, keeping my voice low.

Chase’s face fills my line of sight as he steps into my room and closes the door behind him.

Sitting up, I pull the sheet higher. I’ve seen how Chase traces my ink with his eyes, and I swear to God, I’ll snap if he looks at me like that tonight.

When Chase stays silent, I arch a brow.

“You need something, Dr. Matthews?”

The corner of his mouth ticks up at the title, but the smirk disappears quickly.

“You were right,” he whispers.

“About what?” I ask, not following along.

“All of it,” he says on an exhale. “I want to taste your mouth again while my hands trace the ink on your sides. I want to know what it feels like to have you come undone because of me. I don’t want to have to explain myself or feel guilty about what I want. And what I want is to know if the way that kiss made me feel was a fluke, or if it’s like that every time.” Chase repeats my words almost verbatim.

“Shit. Chase, I was trying to prove a point, not push you into an identity crisis,” I lament.

“But I was already there, wasn’t I?” he huffs with a laugh. “I tried to have sex with Kendra twice tonight,” he says, swallowing hard as jealousy tinges my skin green. “And both times, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t get it up. I blamed it on the stress and feeling like I had to perform since she made the trip,” he says, shoving a hand through his hair as he rambles nervously. “I mean, I guess that could be it, but…” he pauses, biting his lip like he’s trying not to say the next part.