Page 94 of Callous Shot

This wasn’t love. It couldn’t be. This was hate, twisted into something unrecognisable, like thorns wrapping around my heart and choking the life out of it.

“Drink up. It’ll help.”

I opened my eyes, giving my mum a wobbly smile. It couldn’t be love, could it? If it was love, I didn’t want it. It hurt too much.

My hand shook when I reached for my mug of tea. My entire fucking being was vibrating, overflowing with the truth that was impossible to deny. This was a spinning coin with two sides. One side was hate. One side was love.

I hated Lincoln Bellingham.

I loved Lincoln Bellingham.

And I probably had for a very long time.

“Oh, shit,” I whispered, my lip trembling again. “That’s why it hurts so much. My heart is literally fucking breaking.”

My mum made a pained noise, dropping to the sofa and pulling me into her. “Oh, Daniel. I wish I could make it go away. I know how much it hurts to lose someone you love.”

“Mum.” I held on to her, completely overwhelmed with loss and grief and everything else I hadn’t let myself think about in years, like the fact that I never got to know my dad, and whether he’d be disappointed in me for falling for the son of his enemy. And, fuck, my enemy. The boy who’d grown into a man who had somehow become the love of my life without me even realising it. The man who’d called me his baby and kissed me like I meant something to him, then turned around and callously shot me in the back, straight through my rib cage into my heart, shattering it into a million pieces.

41

DAN

I wasn’t sure if I’d even slept. Maybe I’d fallen unconscious for a few minutes. Neil had forced me to go back to the hockey house because apparently, I needed to be surrounded by my friends while he and my mum investigated. It was the last place I wanted to be, and yet here I was, curled into a ball on one of the huge sofas, with my housemates tiptoeing around me like they were afraid I’d suddenly detonate if they dared to make any noise.

It felt as if I were cycling between rage, sadness, and humiliation. I’d believed Lincoln Bellingham. I’d fallen for his words, hook, line, and sinker, and now here I was, with an overwhelming ache in my chest and a stabbing pain beneath my ribs that wouldn’t go away. Why hadn’t I questioned him sooner? Why had I allowed myself to get so caught up in him that I’d refused to face the truth that was right in front of me? Why had I willingly buried my head in the sand instead of confronting him with my concerns?

I hated him. Hated him. Hated him.

“Dan?”

“Fuck off,” I snapped, burying my head in my arms.

“I brought you some of my mum’s jalebi. I’ll put it in the kitchen if you don’t want it yet.”

“Jalebi?” My head rose. I rubbed at my eyes, Jay appearing in my blurry vision. When he nodded, I cleared my throat, attempting to act normally, although it was a lost cause, given that he’d already seen me falling apart. “Oh. Uh. Thanks.”

“Nova and Liana are here,” Jay continued, handing me a plate. “They were worried about you.”

This was so fucking embarrassing. I didn’t do this. I rarely even got upset, especially not recently. Except that one time last year when I accidentally ran over a squirrel, and I felt bad for days. I even gave it a funeral.

But that was nothing compared to this. This was my heart bleeding out, and there was nothing I could do to make it better.

“Daniel.” Liana spoke my name softly.

“Kill me now,” I mumbled around a mouthful of sweet jalebi. Crumbs scattered across my thighs, and I brushed them onto the floor. Normally, I hated mess, but I couldn’t even bring myself to care.

The door opened and Neo entered, all sweaty from his morning run, with a pair of huge headphones covering his ears. He took in our pitiful group congregated on the sofa, and his brows flew up. Pulling off the headphones, his gaze flicked between me and Jay. “Did I miss something?”

I swallowed the last of the jalebi, swiping my tongue across my lips. “You missed me being a fucking idiot.”

“What was that? What did we miss?” came another voice from behind me. I was still watching Neo, so I didn’t miss the way he winced before pasting on a smile. Footsteps sounded on the wooden floor, and then Toby came into view, his arm slung around the shoulders of one of the girls from his uni course. A girl who, uh, enjoyed the company of hockey players. A lot.

I shot Jay a pleading look, and he gently shifted Nova from his lap onto the sofa next to him. Brushing a kiss over her temple, he rose to his feet and then moved to stand in front of me. “You didn’t miss anything,” he said, folding his arms across his chest and staring our teammate down.

Toby got the hint, giving him a brief nod before steering the girl towards the door.

“House business,” Jay said to Neo in response to his uncertain look, and Neo glanced between Liana and Nova, the question clear in his eyes.