Page 130 of Meant for Mayhem

For now, at least.

Tonight, I’d ask again.

She dozed off before we reached the Eisenhower Tunnel, head leaned on the window and one leg curled up under her. The car was quiet, only the sounds of the windshield wipers and Christmas classics playing on the radio. Leena slept almost the entire ride, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

Which was the last place I wanted to be.

By the time we made it to the Linwood exit, I’d convinced myself that Shannon hated the house and that I’d overstepped yet again in the name of future planning.

I’d also reminded myself a hundred times that those same conclusions were my mind being mean to me, and that nothing Shannon had said or done until today had ever made me feel that way.

The truth was probably somewhere in the middle, and I needed a chance to talk to her.

After three months with Shannon at my side, I couldn’t picture a life without her anymore. I wanted to wake up to her in my bed, watch her play with my daughter, make her dinner, then strip her naked and fall asleep holding her every night, for the rest of my life.

This marriage my subconscious created wasn’t temporary to me anymore.

I wanted forever.

The car slowed as we exited the highway, then meandered through the sleepy streets of Linwood. Twinkle lights hung in every tree lining River Street, washing the small town in golden light.

I passed Emmy and Beckett’s house, the lights dark except for the glow of a Christmas tree through the front window. Lori’s house was outside of town, an old farmhouse set back against the Gore Range mountains. String lights lit up the pond behind the house, frozen over for the winter and ready to skate on.

The moment the tires went over the cattle guard at the front of the property, Shannon jerked awake.

“Oh,” she said, taking in the picturesque scene. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to sleep the whole way.”

“You were tired.” The words sounded clipped, my anxiety rising in me with every minute I let these worries fester.

I parked moments later, Beckett and Jace walking up from the pond to greet us. Beckett’s younger brother Mason walked a step behind them, skates slung over his shoulders. He played for the Dallas Outlaws and reminded me of Logan—an overly-excited puppy in human form.

“Mikko!” Beckett called the moment I opened the car door. “Glad you made it!”

I held a finger over my mouth, then circled the car to fetch a sleeping Leena.

Beckett followed me to the passenger side, giving Shannon a hug when she climbed out.

Emmy came outside, next in line for greetings. “Merry Christmas, Shannon.”

“Merry Christmas,” Shannon answered, her voice still sounding off. “Thanks for the invite.”

Leena stirred in my arms at the sound of Shannon’s voice, head resting on my shoulders but eyes taking in everyone here.

Beckett waved, grinning at my little girl. “Merry Christmas, Leena. I’m going to be your favorite uncle in about 12 hours.”

I squinted at my old teammate. “What did you do?”

“He went overboard.” Emmy stood on tiptoes to give me a hug. “Glad you made it, Mikko.”

Together, we all walked toward the house, Shannon the first one up the stairs.

“Where’s Lori?” Shannon said from the front porch.

“She went to lay down,” Emmy answered. “We took her to the evening church service, but with the snow coming down, it was a lot.”

Shannon let herself into the house and she slipped into the first-floor bedroom, then shut the doors behind her.

I watched the closed doors, the perfect analogy for how I felt right now.