Page 105 of Dirty

The engine turned over a few times, and then came to life.

“Put your hands up on the bars,” I said.

He reached for the bars and rested his hands against the handle grips.

“Your right hand is the throttle,” I said. “Close your eyes and turn it back a little.”

He did as I asked. After revving the engine a few times, he grinned.

“Therapeutic, isn’t it?” I asked.

He opened his eyes and nodded.

“Close ‘em,” I said. “Until whatever’s bothering you is gone.”

As his arms shook, I looked him over. The bruises were gone from his face, and his arms weren’t healed, but they were a lot better than they were. Small scabs covered the tip of a dozen or more burns that were shaped like little volcanoes.

Two of the cuts on his face were healed, and two weren’t. The two that had healed were going to scar, but not near as bad as the others.

It was the scars I couldn’t see that bothered me.

And not on his leg or his foot.

The scars on his soul.

It was something I knew a little bit about. But every day, I got a little better. Every day, I got closer to understanding that I could trust him fully and completely. And, every day, I got closer to allowing myself to attempt to have sex with him.

I knew he wouldn’t push it. He wasn’t that type of person, and he cared for me too much to hurt me.

But, when I was ready, he would be too.

At least I hoped he would be.

I stood there and admired him for what seemed like forever, but I wasn’t one to ever complain about looking at him. The scars on his face gave him character, and made him that much more intriguing.

Hopefully, in a few years, we’d both be able to look back at our experiences and realize that they helped shape us into who we had become.

I hoped that person was a little more reserved with outsiders, and a lot more trusting with the man I loved.

At some point, he opened his eyes and looked at me.

“Okay,” he said. “I’m done. You can turn it off now.”

I tried to remember exactly what he’d said the night he let me sit on it. After a few seconds, I grinned. “You sure?” I asked.

He nodded. “Uh huh.”

I flipped the switch, and the garage went silent.

“That was awesome,” he said.

“Relaxing, isn’t it?”

He smiled. It was an honest to God genuine smile. “It’s hypnotic,” he said.

“Are you relaxed?”

“I love you,” he said. “I really do.”