Page 64 of Dirty

“Mother,” Alexandra snapped. “You said you were going to apologize.”

She shrugged. “I did.”

Alexandra glared. “You haven’t.”

I reached for my cookie, took a bite, and began my half-assed explanation of how I felt.

“Listen. I can see your reluctance to accept a 31-year-old biker as a good match for your 21-year-old daughter. I’ve never been in a relationship, because I’ve never wanted to be in a relationship, so I can’t give you any kind of statistics on how well I’ve done in the past, or how good I am at doing this.”

I took another bite of the cookie. “I have no idea what I’m doing, but I know this: I took the time to consider how I felt about her, and whether it was based on anything but pure intentions or not. After a lot of thinking, a lot of being honest with myself, and some talking with the other fellas who are in relationships, I decided to tell Alexandra how I feel.”

I poked the last bite of cookie into my mouth.

Lucy leaned forward. “Have you ever hurt a woman?”

She wasn’t going to like my answer, I was sure of it.

“I’m sure I’ve hurt a lot of them, yeah. Like I said, I’ve never been in a relationship. That doesn’t mean I’ve never had sex. So, for me to sit here and tell you that I had sex with some chick, and then told her I never wanted to see her again – and that she went home happy – would be some pretty wishful thinking on my part.”

“You’re a player,” she said.

“A what?”

“Player.” She folded her hands together and leaned forward. “Someone who plays games with girl’s heads to get them to have sex with them.”

“Listen. I’m not perfect. Hell, we’ve all made mistakes, you included,” I said. “But what I’ve done in the past doesn’t define me as a person.”

“It sure does,” she said.

“No, it doesn’t.”

Both eyebrows went up. “What does?”

I clenched my fist and pressed it to my chest. “What I feel right here.”

“Good answer,” Alexandra whispered.

“And this is a new feeling?” Lucy asked. “Something you’ve never experienced?”

“It’s new, yeah. And don’t even ask me to explain it.”

She stood, walked to the coffee table, and picked up two cookies. After she sat down, she took a bite, and then studied me as she chewed.

She finished the first cookie without speaking, and then started on the second. I felt like I was on trial, waiting on the jury to decide what the verdict was. After exchanging a few looks with Alexandra, I reached for the coffee table and grabbed two cookies.

I handed Alexandra one.

Lucy let out a sigh, alternated glances between Alexandra and me, and fixed her eyes on mine. “Don’t you dare hurt her.”

“I won’t.”

She stood up and crossed her arms. “I’m sorry for how I acted this morning. I’m anxious to see where this ends up.”

“That makes two of us,” I said.

“No,” Alexandra said. “Three.”

EIGHTEEN