Page 3 of Finding Parker

“Chivalry, as they say, is dead. After repeatedly witnessing behavior that is contrary to what I believe is gentlemanly, I have decided to hire an assistant if you will. One who is a natural gentleman. If you were chosen, it would be my intent, in summary, to live vicariously through you as I attempt to mold you into a gentleman. Does or would this type of arrangement interest you?” he asked.

Mr. Ward was a very calm yet full of energy. To watch him, one would think his brain was going a hundred miles an hour. To listen to him speak, he was very matter of fact and appeared astute. He had done nothing to prove his intelligence yet, but I was convinced he was a very intelligent man. As I thought about his question and formed my response, I glanced at Mr. Astur. Slowly, I turned to face Mr. Ward.

“Chivalry, sir, is not dead. Although magnanimity isn’t commonplace today with the generation of men my age, it certainly exists with some. I would, however, agree we could all take lessons in nobility, generosity, and how to live selflessly. Am I to understand that it is your intent, sir, as is expressed in these contract documents, to form me into a better gentleman?” I asked as I picked the pile of documents from the table.

“Impressive response Mr. Bale. I currently have you at one hit and one strike. May I ask why you have chosen to place your bottle of water in your lap?” Mr. Ward asked.

I nodded toward Mr. Astur as I placed the contract onto the table, “Mr. Astur has a coaster in front of him to place his water on. You sir, also have a coaster. When Mr. Astur delivered my water, he did not offer a coaster. As cold as the water is, and considering the temperature in this room, I chose not to chance damaging the top of this wooden table by placing my water on the surface of it.”

I smiled, satisfied my answer was impressive. As Mr. Astur nodded and smiled, Mr. Ward unclasped his hands and rubbed his cheeks with the tips of his fingers.

“Why did you choose a bottle of water over a glass when offered?” Mr. Ward asked.

“Both you and Mr. Astur have bottles on your coasters, sir. I was attempting to be polite and trouble free,” I smiled as I nodded toward the two bottles of water.

“Trouble free,” Mr. Ward repeated as he shook his head.

He pointed to his water, “Have I or has Mr. Astur taken a drink since you’ve been in the room?”

I thought for a moment. They had not.

“No sir,” I responded.

“You requested a bottle of water because we had bottled water? You wanted to be like us?” he asked as he stood from his chair.

“Yes sir,” I responded, not knowing what else to say.

“A lure, test, trick, gimmick, whatever you prefer to call it,” he paused as he pointed to the bottles of water on the table.

“Drinking water from a bottle is akin to eating beans from a can, cereal from a box, peanut butter from a jar, or drinking wine from a bottle. A beverage is contained in a bottle for shipping and storage. It should remain in the bottle until it is poured into a glass, at which time it could be enjoyed. Do you drink your wine from a bottle, Mr. Bale?” he asked as he slowly walked around the corner of the table.

“No sir,” I responded.

“Well, you’re batting five hundred so far. Not bad. There’s something about you, Parker Bale. Something I like. I have yet to identify what it is, but you have a very good presence about you. Do you want the job?” he asked as he stood beside me and picked the contract up from the table.

“I’m not certain what the job consists of, sir,” I looked up as he flipped through the pages of the contract.

He inhaled a slow breath through his nose and exhaled through his mouth.

“You would be provided transportation and money which would be used in finding a woman to develop a relationship with. In a sense, your job is to find the perfect woman for you. Preferably once a week, but no less than twice a month, you’d be required to bring her to my home for dinner. All of your dates, meals, transportation, clothes, entertainment, as well as any gifts to her would be provided as a part of the contract at no cost to you. Through the course of developing the relationship, you and I would visit, discussing your intent, direction, feelings, and processes. I would make recommendations to assist you in assuring you always act in a gentlemanly manner,” with his hands at his sides he paused, raised the contract, and flipped through the pages.

“Is that it?” I asked.

“In a nutshell, yes. Are you a risk taker, Mr. Bale?” he asked.

“I suppose it depends on the risk, sir,” I responded.

His explanation of the job sounded interesting. Driving a company provided car and spending company money. My job would be to eat, drink, and buy gifts for women. Through the course of working, I would also earn eighty thousand dollars a year. It sounded too good to be true.

“I’m going to make you an offer. We have interviewed seven applicants, and have two more scheduled,” Mr. Ward flipped through the papers he held, pulled the page from the rear of the contract, and placed it on the table.

“Sign that agreement, Mr. Bale and I will pay you one hundred thousand annually. The other benefits remain. This is a one-time offer,” he motioned toward Mr. Astur, who reached into his jacket pocket and produced a pen.

As Mr. Astur reached across the table with the pen, I swallowed nervously. One hundred thousand dollars was very tempting, but I had reservations. Not having read the conditions of the contract potentially exposed me to unfavorable legal language. I gripped the bottle of water nervously.

Mr. Ward placed the pen onto the single page of the contract.

“Mr. Bale. Yes or no?” he asked as he motioned toward the pen with his index finger.