Page 84 of Thick

I’d searched for most of my adult life for someone to spend my life with, but never really felt I could devote the time or the energy needed to develop or maintain a relationship. And, in the past, I felt I couldn’t afford it.

What little money I’d made over the years had been invested in gold and turned into jewelry. Now that I was selling enough books to support any habit, I was out of excuses. It really didn’t matter. If I was homeless, I’d still be doing everything I could to win Bobbi’s heart.

From the first day I met her, I knew she was different. I simply hoped once I got out of prison that she’d give me an opportunity to get to know her. Now that she had, I couldn’t imagine walking away.

“We’ve been through this before,” I said. “I like everything about you.”

“It’s just hard to believe.”

“Get used to it.”

“I’m trying.”

We ordered our food and sat gawking at each other like a couple of love-struck teens. After several moments of admiring her, I broke the awkward silence.

“What are your thoughts on divorce?” I asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Well. People get married because they love each other. At least that’s supposed to be the case. So, if they love one another, how can they lose that love and later get divorced? Do you believe love existed in the first place?”

“I like conversations like this.”

“Like what?”

She wrung her hands and grinned. “With depth.”

“Small talk is for shallow minds.”

“I think some people mistake lust for love.” She looked right at me. “Others, at least in my mind, get comfortable in a relationship they’re in because it’s convenient. Then, because everyone starts asking questions about it, the guy proposes. The girl says ‘yes’ because that’s what girls do. From the time we’re little we dream of that day when someone sweeps us off out feet.”

“Would you automatically say ‘yes’ if someone asked?”

She pointed her finger at her chest. “Me?” her eyebrows raised. “No. I’m planning on doing it once, and only once. No matter how deeply in love I might be, if I’m not convinced the man is just as in love with me as I am him, I’ve got no business marrying him.”

“So, you’d say ‘no’, even if you were in love?”

“If I didn’t trust that he was prepared to spend forever with me?” She leaned back and crossed her arms over her chest. “You can bet your ass.”

I smiled.

She gave me a look. “What?”

“Nothing,” I said.

“Why are you smiling?”

Because you’ve got all the right answers.

“Because you’ve got all the right answers.”

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Bobbi

I’d never had much genuine affection offered to me by men. Most conversations were driven by a desire to obtain a blowjob, a hand job, or a quick and easy lay. Tate’s lack of interest in anything sexual – and complete interest in me – had me convinced that he might be different than every other man I’d encountered.

As sad as the thought of him failing made me feel, I knew if he couldn’t pass my father’s test, there was no way we could proceed. Going against my father’s will wasn’t an option.