Page 43 of Undefeated

He was kind, compassionate, considerate, romantic, loving, caring, and loyal. This combination, for me, was proving to be far more than I could take. An alpha male that would destroy a man in a moment for any number of reasons that were contrary to what he held precious to his system of beliefs.

Yet.

Hold a woman close to his chest and make her feel like she was the most precious person on this earth, and that she had no reason to fear anything when she was in his presence.

Shane Dekkar. A man to define what all men should desire to become.

Perfection, defined.

Perfection is defined in the mind as it sees what stands before it. We compare what it is that we now see to what we have seen in the past. This comparison is only based on what experiences we have, and what we have exposed ourselves to. I have had minimal exposure in life, but I am not a fool nor am I foolish. Shane Dekkar, to me, is perfect. I could spend a lifetime exposing myself to the offerings of life, and this would not change. It is not an opinion, it is a fact.

His fingers continued to rake through my hair.

“I’ll give you a lifetime to stop that,” I whispered as I closed my eyes.

“I’ll never stop,” he whispered back.

“Promise,” I asked as I opened my eyes.

Softly, he pushed me onto my back, and crawled on top of me. His hands quickly moved into my hair, his fingers raking through it as the massaged my scalp. I closed my eyes again.

“Open your eyes, babe,” he whispered.

I opened my eyes.

“Do you understand how I feel about you?” he asked, his eyes filled with passion.

“Tell me,” I responded as I closed my eyes.

I relaxed as he massaged my scalp with his fingers. He lowered his chest to mine and softly laid his body against me. He positioned his head beside mine, and began to whisper in my ear. His warm breath made me shiver as he began to speak.

“Kace, I could spend the rest of my life happy with you, I am certain. I have no reason to believe otherwise. And although I suspect you feel the same way, I do not believe that you are able to make a decision regarding a relationship with anyone that will be one hundred percent heartfelt, considering what you have been through for the last ten years,” as he paused, I started to speak

“Shhhh,” he said into my ear.

“If you feel the way I suspect you feel, the end result will be the same, regardless of when we make the decision to take the next step. It is very important to me that the decision be made by what your heart desires, and not what you think you want. Almost daily, I wish we would have met by different circumstances,” his breath on my neck made me smile a slow smile.

“Why different?” I whispered, my eyes still closed.

“Well, because. I imagine part, and only part of what you feel – you feel because you believe that I saved you. I don’t want you to desire me for that reason. I want you to desire me because of who I am, and what we have to offer each other for a lifetime, not for this moment,” he kissed my neck as he finished speaking.

“So how do you know when it’s time?” I could feel his heart beating against my chest.

“I’ll just know, I imagine,” he responded as his hand touched the side of my face.

“Open your mouth,” he whispered.

My eyes still closed, I slowly parted my lips.

“Stick out your tongue,” he said as he kissed my chin.

I pushed my tongue past my lips.

As his lips encompassed my tongue, I opened my eyes. His left hand moved from my hair to the side of my face. His hands lightly touching each of my cheeks, we continued to kiss. As I studied his eyes, I began to ache for more. I wanted this man with all that I had within me. I wanted to feel him inside of me. I wanted to become one – to share and experience each other’s bodies in the way that defined love.

Slowly, he raised his head, kissing my lips as he did so. He moved his hands from my face to my hips. Using the tips of his fingers he lightly lifted my shirt from my shorts, and slid his hands inside my shirt. As they moved across my stomach toward my chest, my breathing stuttered.

Please, please…take me, Shane. Oh God, Squeeze my…