Page 48 of Money Shot

“Amen,” my mother said as she dropped the piece of meat.

“Amen,” I said.

“So, finally. What’s it been? A year? And you’re finally bringing her to meet us,” she said as she began to spoon mashed potatoes onto her plate.

“I met her in June. And we didn’t start seeing each other until I took her those flowers, and I think that was in August,” I said.

“It was July. The fouth,” she said.

I shook my head as I loaded my plate with meat. “August.”

“That’s exactly why Bradley falls asleep when you talk to him. He gets tired of the fibs you tell,” she said.

“He falls asleep because he’s fat and unhealthy,” I said, knowing what I said would irritate her.

She turned and glared at me over the top of her fork full of mashed potatoes. “Stephen Vincent! Take it back.”

“It’s true,” I said.

“Every word out of your mouth is a fib. Bradley’s not fat, he’s muscular. And it was right after you got beat up, because you had those stitches in your face. It was July Fourth, and we were eating fried chicken. Right here,” she said as she pointed at the table.

“I know where we were, Mother. Whatever, Okay, July. Fine,” I said.

“So, six months ago you started seeing her, and just now I get to meet her. I think it’s sad,” she said.

“Well, you won’t have anything else to complain about here in about ten days,” I said.

She wagged her fork in my direction and cleared her throat. “They’re not complaints, they’re observations. Now, eat your dinner.”

“Well, I’m excited to finally meet her,” she said. “And if you’ve been seeing her all year, and if you truly love her, you should…”

She paused and took a bite of bread.

“I should what?” I asked.

She handed Bradley another piece of roast beef, glanced upward, and shook her head as we made eye contact. “Never mind. I’m excited to meet her, that’s all.”

I forced a sigh of sarcasm and continued to eat. I was pretty sure I knew fully what my mother intended to say. She was a master at hinting at what she wanted, expected, or believed she deserved, but not actually saying it.

And, in time, I was pretty sure I would grant her wish.