Page 116 of The Fed Sex Man

“You’ve had your clit sucked, right?”

“Uhhm.” I shook my head. “No.”

She wagged her index finger toward my purse. “Write it down. Make it first on the list. You’ve got to get him to do that.”

I chuckled. “Where are you going with this story?”

“I’m almost there.”

“Okay.”

“So, if you had that big bratwurst clit, all you’d be able to think about would be sex, right? Especially having a dude suck your clit.”

“I can’t imagine a bratwurst clit. All I think about is sex, and mine’s the size of my pinky finger.”

“Pinky finger!?” Her eyes narrowed. “Mine’s so small a guy needs a microscope and a map to find it.”

“A road map?” I laughed. “That sucks. Mine’s not really that big, it just seems like it is. It’s definitely not hard to find.”

“Tell me about it.” She tugged the hem of her shorts and then shook her right leg as if she expected something to fall out of it. “Anyway. If you’ve got the sausage-clit, you’d be about even with a dude. They’ve got two pounds of dick swinging between their legs twenty-four-seven. Each time they see it, it’s a constant dangling reminder that they’re not fucking someone. Every hour of every day, they’re trying to devise a way to get that thing busy. The easiest way to do it is to stick it in someone’s mouth. I guess what I’m trying to say is that you can’t blame Tyson for having thoughts about poking his dick in that sexy librarian’s mouth. Or for the other guy mentioning it. It’s all they think about. Have him suck your pinkie-sized clit, and you’ll know what I mean.”

I knew guys enjoyed blowjobs, but I had no idea just how much they liked them. I mentally added getting Tyson to suck my clit to our evening’s activities, just so I’d be privy to the information.

I gave a nod. “Okay. I’ll see if he will do it tonight.”

“Good. And, another thing.” She chuckled. “You’ve gotta give it up more than once every eleven years.”

I laughed. “I know.”

“Remember. He’s got a constant reminder dangling between his legs. If he doesn’t get it from you, he’ll get it somewhere else.”

I didn’t plan on making Tyson wait any longer for sex than it took for me to get undressed when I got home at night. Nonetheless, I was fascinated. “What happens if he doesn’t?”

“His balls will turn blue.”

“I’ve heard of that. Blue Balls.”

“Precisely,” she said. “When it happens, they’ve got to go to the hospital and get a nurse to extract it.”

“Extract what?”

“The cum.”

“Why don’t they just.” I made the jerking motion with my hand. “You know.”

“Too painful.”

“Wouldn’t it be just as painful if a nurse did it?”

“They sedate the guys before they do it. They probably get the interns to actually do the whacking.” She chuckled. “How’d you like that job? Whack off nurse?”

I shrugged. “I’ve never done it.”

“You’ve never whacked a dude off?”

“Nope. I’ve pretty much done everything else, though.”

“Everything except for having a guy suck your clit and giving a hand-job.” She gestured to my purse. “Hand-job. Put that on the list, too.”