Page 21 of Goose

He was always right, and I was always wrong.

He was also somewhat of a hypocrite. He was in a relationship, but felt that the rest of us shouldn’t be, because it put the club at jeopardy. The only other member of the club who had an Ol’ Lady was Cash, and Baker didn’t even try to get in the way of that, because Cash would whip his ass in a minute if he tried.

“Yeah. So, I took the chick for a ride.” I stood and gestured to the letter. “You can read that at the meeting if you want.”

“Wait.” His eyes narrowed. “You’re leaving? What about your story?”

“I just told it,” I said. “I took her for a ride.”

“Don’t get all butt hurt and stomp off, Goose.”

“I’m not butt hurt, and I’m not stomping off,” I said. “I’m tired from being up all night.”

“Why were you up all night?” he asked.

I’d spent half the night convincing myself not to fuck Ally. The other half had been spent going through Ghost’s belongings, hoping to find something that made accepting his death a manageable task.

For the time being, I’d succeeded at the first task. The second was a miserable failure. I hoped in time I could find a way to succeed at living without Ghost in my day to day life.

The few minutes I’d been in Baker’s office reminded me why I chose to listen to everyone’s problems but keep my own bottled up inside me. Sharing with him the true reasons why I’d been up all night would only cause him to question my reasoning or stability.

He’d already done enough of that for one day.

“Couldn’t sleep,” I said.

He looked away. “I’ve been suffering from that myself.”

“I’m sure it’ll get better with time.”

“Want to go in that diner one of these evenings and get something to eat?” he asked. “Maybe talk to that owner about Ghost?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “We’ll see. I’ve got a lot to do at his place. Getting all his shit sorted out isn’t going to be an easy task.”

He stood. “Just let me know. And, let me know if you need any help going through his stuff.”

“Will do.”

I planned on talking to the owner about Ghost, but I had no desire to bring Baker along. Furthermore. I had no intention of having him sort through Ghost’s things. Doing so was going to be my therapy. And, until I found a way to accept Ghost’s death, the diner would be my place of refuge.

For everyone’s sake, I hoped that acceptance came sooner than later.