Page 71 of Reno

The crowd was far from what I expected, but everything I’d hoped it might be. I feared fighting, guns being fired from time to time, and a knife or two being pulled to settle arguments that couldn’t be resolved though simple conversation.

I was dead wrong. Despite there being enough testosterone present to wage a war, I had yet to witness so much as a disagreement between any of the men.

In short, the men were respectful, and the women were very fun to be around.

“I had no idea,” Joey said. “He never watches football. Ever. So, I was trying to watch Ellen, and this little thing came up, and it said, do you want to delete this recording? I clicked yes, because I was sure I recorded it by accident. Then, that night, he started screaming, ‘what the fuck happened to the game?’”

Joey was P-Nut’s wife. She was young, adorable, and funny.

“Oh, Lord,” Andy said. “Was he mad?”

“Mad is an understatement,” Joey responded. “It was a playoff game between two teams, one of which he cares about. I guess it’s the only team he’ll watch, and they made the semi-finals or whatever they call it. He said he doesn’t even care about the Superbowl. Just that game. He wasn’t happy at all.”

“What did he do?” Andy asked. “Go for a ride? When Baker gets mad, he takes off in his Porsche and hauls ass around corners for an hour. Then, when he comes home, everything’s fine.”

“He grudge-fucked me,” Joey said with a laugh. “All in all, it was pretty good punishment.”

“Bradley does that all the time,” Tegan said. “He thinks it’s punishment. Sometimes I make him mad just to get him to do it.”

Bradley was Pee Bee’s real name. Considering Tegan’s size, I wondered what sex was like between them, because Pee Bee was a giant. Seeing them side by side looked awkward, but really anyone looked awkward standing beside Pee Bee.

I glanced at Pee Bee, who was standing with the men, fifty feet away from us. I looked at Tegan. “Is he like…” I paused, not knowing how to continue. “Is sex with him normal? Can I ask that?”

She laughed. “He’s abnormal in all respects. It works, though. What about Reno? He’s got a big attitude, just like Crip. I bet he’s pretty well endowed, huh?”

“He’s just perfect,” I said. “Fits me like a glove.”

“Baker’s average,” Andy said. “But he knows how to use it.”

“Percy is pretty normal, I think,” Joey said. “Don’t really have anything to compare it to.”

“Is that his name? Percy?”

“Uh huh.”

“I like that,” I said.

She smiled. “Me, too.”

“Is Reno’s name Reno?” Tegan asked.

I realized I didn’t know for sure. I shrugged. “I think so.”

“What’s the weirdest sexual position you’ve ever been in?” Andy asked. “Or place? Either the weirdest position or place you’ve had sex?”

“Percy and I did it on his motorcycle,” Joey said.

“Ditto,” Tegan said.

“Same,” Andy said. “And, in the window, looking out at the bar across the street in broad daylight.”

“What about you?” Andy asked, directing her question to me.

Angel tied me to a post in the barn and fucked me with a dirty broomstick once to teach me a lesson. Although I expected that would win the prize for the weirdest sex, I was sure they didn’t want to hear about it.

I was equally certain I didn’t want to relive the event.

“I’m pretty inexperienced,” I said. “We did it on the sidewalk, in front of the restaurant though.”