Page 6 of Knot Their Soldier: Part Three

I called it trust because it sounded noble and better than admitting I was afraid she'd hate me if I held on too tightly.

I wanted her safe, but I wanted her smiling at me too. I wanted her proud to be my mate. I wanted her to love me without feeling trapped by me and my rules.

And now she's dead.

My knees hit the floor before I realize I'm falling.

I heave again, but there's nothing left except acid, and it burns all the way up my throat.

Still, the thoughts keep coming.

Why did I let her go?

Why did I let her make me gentle when the world had already proved it would punish every weakness?

Why did I keep all my love locked behind orders and growls and rules?

Did she know? Rut help me, did my Omega die without ever really knowing that I loved her more than life itself?

Halley was a light in the darkness, a ray of sunshine.

And I'm the reason she's dead.

I want to take the knife from Blaze and plunge it into my heart. To end this endless, ripping, tearing pain of loss.

No, more than that, I want to stab the woman who killed my Omega and make this whole encampment hear what grief sounds like when a Prime Alpha stops pretending he is civilized.

I deflate, digging my fingers into my thighs and squeezing my eyes shut.

She deserves every scream Blaze can carve out of her, but it changes nothing.

Halley is still dead.

My Omega is dead, and I am kneeling in a medical tent pretending vengeance will help me survive the truth.

I failed the only duty that mattered.

I failed to protect her.

I stumble from the tent, the screams from the Beta woman ringing in my ears.

I stagger over to Viper, Shade, and... her.

Viper is still clutching Halley to his chest, his head bowed, his shoulders shaking with sobs.

I suck in a breath, and then a sucker punch hits me in the guts.

It seems that life is not done kicking the shit out of us yet, because around Viper's eyes are pulsing red veins.

Fuck.

His Blood Lust is simmering in shocked stasis. Without Halley's bond keeping it under control, the moment he rouses from the stupor of grief, he'll tear this place to shreds.

It's the endgame for my lieutenant, my friend, my brother.

I squeeze my eyes shut as memories flash of an awkward young Alpha, his body too big for his age, and his even larger heart.

Another of my loved ones I have failed to protect. I'll lose two of them tonight.