“So, Lottie’s awake and seems to be doing ok. She’s obviously taking the news about David and Louisa hard, but with all of us here to rally around her, we can help her deal with this, right?”
There’s a lot of “absolutely” and “of course” thrown about, and then I drop the bomb.
“There’s just one more thing.”
God, I feel sick even just thinking about saying it.
“What is it?” Alyssa asks. “You’ve gone a bit green in the face, brother.” She starts to rub my back.
“Lottie doesn’t remember me,” I say, so quickly everyone does a double-take to make sure they heard me correctly.
Feelings of uselessness and numbness take over as I’m reminded of every feeling I had when I lost my dad, except this is worse. Lottie is alive and has no clue who I am, and I don’t know how to help her.
“Yup, I said what I said. But don’t worry, she remembers everyone else,” I huff.
I sound like a petulant child, but seriously, how can she remember everyone else but not me? Is this karma coming to get me for something I did in a past life?
Everyone starts speaking all at once, firing question after question. Will her memories come back? How long will she be in hospital? What if her memories don’t come back? What if…
“I don’t fucking know, ok? I’m not a fucking doctor, and if you’re so interested, go to the hospital and ask,” I snap, causing the table to fall silent.
My throat becomes tight and my eyes sting. Clutching my hair in my fists, I lower my head to the table as I break down, struggling to come to terms with the loss of my friend, my love.
Codey clears his throat. “Look, the answers to the questions don’t matter. We can’t change what’s happened or what Charlie remembers. The real question is, what are you gonna do about it?”
Sitting up, swiping at my eyes, I look at all of them.
“All I know is, I’m not leaving her side. I’ll take care of her even if she doesn’t know who I am.”
I can’t be apart from her, I just can’t.
Kayla gets up from her seat and crosses over to me, wraps her arms around my shoulders from behind, and kisses my cheek.
“Don’t worry, Jakey boy, we’re going to make sure Charlie remembers you.” She squeezes me tighter. “All we need to do is come up with a plan.”
“How is it possible she remembers all of us but not you? I don’t understand?” Louis asks again.
I wish I knew, buddy.
“Wait, how do you know she knows who we are?” Alyssa asks.
“Well, she remembered Wren, and when the doctor asked her questions, she could answer those. But every time she looked at me, it was like the lights were on, but no one was home.”
“I saw in a case study once that when someone forgets a whole other person, the memories are still there but with the forgotten person missing from it. For example, when you and Lottie went to get Bella. She would remember herself going, but not that you were with her,” Codey mentions. Everyone turns to look at him in shock, mouths agape.
“What? I read,” he huffs out, arms folded over his chest.
“Once she’s out, we’ll all be here to help, and I promise I’ll make sure she remembers you if it’s the last thing I do,” Kayla chuckles.
Glancing down at my watch, I notice the time and get ready to head back to the hospital, making sure I say goodbye to Codey, who’s flying home to see his family tomorrow for a few weeks. And then I’m in my car, heading up the highway back to my girl.
Four more days pass of the same routine. Lottie is in and out of sleep, and when she’s awake, she’s either looking at me like I’ve grown two heads or spending her time talking to Wren. Mom and Kayla have been up to visit and, just as I suspected it would be, it’s heartbreaking to watch her remember them. When it’s just me and her, she clams up. Silence. Radio silence. She actually reminds me of the girl I met at college that first day, except this time it’s for very different reasons.
Wren and Sawyer arrive just as Dr. Carter comes round to check on Lottie and gives us an update.
“So, everything is looking good. I’d say if you continue to improve at this speed, we can look to release you within a week. You will need someone to stay with you for a while, though. You need to keep your weight off that leg and will be needing a wheelchair for the first few weeks.”
This is perfect, this is the opportunity I need. Before anyone else can say anything, I quickly blurt out, “I can help Lottie. I know her house inside out, and Bella knows me too. It’s the off-season for me, so I have nowhere to be either.”