Page 38 of Remember Me

“You don’t need to say anything. Now get comfortable and let’s get started.” He helps me onto the chair and moves my crutches out of the way before taking a seat opposite me, making sure we can both still see the screen.

“You ready?” he asks.

“Yep, let’s do this!” I’m so excited, I haven’t been able to practice yoga in months and now I’m getting some sort of normality back. It used to be the one thing to really ground me mentally, and when I’ve needed it the most, I haven't been able to do it. Don’t get me wrong, meditation does help in some respects, but for me, it’s always worked better after a good yoga flow.

We start with a gentle warm up, just to loosen the limbs ready for what’s to come. I’m not sure what level of yoga this will be, but as it’s in a chair, I’m guessing nothing too strenuous.

How wrong was I? This workout is really kicking my butt, but at the same time, it’s great to feel my body working hard for me and not against me. I look over at Jake, who looks like he’s been doing this all his life. I guess being a hockey player means they need to be flexible.

I can feel the sweat trickling down my forehead as I move my arms into a variation of warrior pose. Out of the corner of my eye, I see movement coming from Jake’s side. Holy shit, he’s just taken off his T-shirt and wiped the sweat from his face with it. His skin is glistening, and I swear I count not a six-pack but an eight-pack. All of a sudden, I don’t know where to look.

Jake catches me staring and cocks his head to the side with a knowing smirk spreading across his handsome face. Busted.

“See something you like?”

That damn smirk is still in place, I swear he says this to get a rise out of me. And it’s working. I can feel the butterflies in my belly and a tingling further down the more I look. My body is flushing all over, heat rising to the point I swear there is steam coming off it.

I have to look away; if I continue to stare, I’ll look like a panting dog in heat.

“N-no, I, ah, just was wondering how you were finding it, is all,” I manage to stammer out. God, woman, what is wrong with you? Get it together.

“I’m actually really enjoying it, I never knew yoga was so much fun.” Those pearly whites of his flash back at me. “Although I’m pretty sure your leg is meant to be facing that way,” he points to his left. “Here, let me help. You’ll let me know if it hurts, right?”

I nod, unable to form words as he bends down next to me and his hand grazes up my bare calf, gently maneuvering my leg into the correct position. I’ve forgotten how to breathe—my heart feels like it’s about to burst out of my chest at his innocent touch. I gasp and he looks up at me as if I’m in pain.

“Are you ok?” His eyes are filled with concern.

“Y-yes, fine, your hand was a bit cold, that’s all.”

He raises an eyebrow, it’s not cold at all and neither are his hands. Luckily, he either decides to believe me or understands how uncomfortable I am and moves on. The yoga video continues and we work through in a comfortable silence.

Once we’re finished, Jake goes inside to make my tea, which he brings out to me, still topless.

“Here’s your tea, milady,” he says in a fake British accent whilst bowing to me.

He really needs to put his shirt back on. I grab my sunglasses from the table and slide them on so I can ogle in peace.

“I’m just taking Bella for a walk, I won’t be long,” Jake shouts to me, my dog hot on his heels as they head down the steps to the beach.

Looking over my glasses, I admire the view—and I’m not talking about the ocean.

I try to focus on my journal, but it’s proving difficult when there’s two hundred pounds of pure muscle running up and down the beach, hat on backwards. That damn hat! These flutters in my belly are not going away, if anything, they’re getting stronger. Come on, focus on the journal, we’re not allowed to like Jake like that, nothing good can come of it. Although…maybe just one more peek will tide me over for a while.

Feeling reflective whilst writing in my journal, I keep thinking of all the things I’ve not done—or now can’t remember—and how, at twenty-six, I don’t have any real-life experience. It makes me feel younger than my years sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I've made some great friends, but I’m equally happy with my own company. Sometimes, I prefer it. Unintentionally, I isolate or shelter myself away from others to protect myself, and I can now see that’s what I was doing with Jake.

A pang in my chest hits deep as I remember, yet again, my parents are gone. Every time I think of them, the cut opens a little deeper.

Jake and I are doing so much better now, and I really do love his company. But realistically, how much longer is he going to stick around when, so far, I’ve recovered only one memory. I overheard him on the phone last night; he was talking to Hannah about how much better I’m doing and I won’t need him soon. He will inevitably move out, and then I’ll lose him completely. I can feel myself spiraling, these negative thoughts taking over. I feel like I’m drowning and no one can see me. Stop this, Charlotte, you promised Jake you wouldn’t do this again.

I’m so frustrated at everything. The one place that used to be my safe haven and sanctuary is now suffocating me—I can’t be here right now.

Throwing my sunglasses off, I run down the steps, my body groaning with every move I make. I don’t get far before my leg gives way completely and I fall onto the sand, tears streaming down my eyes, and a tall shadowy figure hovers above me.

Chapter 27

Jake

I’m heading back from my run with Bella when a flash of movement catches my eye from Lottie's terrace. I literally blink before I see her run down the steps and collapse in a heap on the sand.