Page 46 of Remember Me

“That kiss was not a mistake or an in-the-moment thing for me, Lottie. I have wanted to do that for a long time, far longer than I care to admit. I’m sorry it happened when you were drunk, and I felt like I took advantage, but am I sorry it happened? Fuck no.”

He wanted to kiss me? I don’t understand. “I’ve seen the girls you’ve been with, Jake. They look nothing like me!” I shout at him, unsure why I’m yelling as it really hurts my head.

He grips his hair, pulling on it so hard I fear it might snap off. He rolls his shirt sleeve further up his arm and points to part of his tattoo. “You are literally etched onto my skin, Lottie. You’re in my head and in my heart, where you have burrowed your way so deep within my soul that there’s no getting you out. So deep that I have been content for the last sixteen years to take whatever scraps of yourself you were able to give to me if it meant I get to be in your life in some capacity because I’ll be damned if I’m ever letting you go.”

Wait, what? That tattoo is me? Holy shit. He’s breathing heavily, like he’s just run a ten-mile race. He grips my shoulders as I lift my chin to look directly into his chocolate eyes.

“You may not remember me fully, but every detail I have of you is ingrained in my brain so thoroughly I could never ever forget you. Those scars you wear? Wear them with pride, baby, they are signs you’re alive. Signs you’re a survivor, a warrior, and most of all?”

He brings his forehead to mine and I can feel the tears coating my lashes as he delivers his final words. “They’re signs I haven’t lost you.”

A lone tear falls down his cheek. I reach up with my thumb to brush it away as I sniffle through my own tears, letting them flow. Our breathing becomes ragged as I reach up and tentatively touch my lips to his. Unlike last night, we take it slow, but I’m sure of what I want as my tongue glides against his.

When I pull back, I look at him bashfully, cheeks flushed and eyes glassy. “I, uhm, don’t have any, err, experience with this sort of thing,” I explain to him.

“I know. We go at your pace, Lottie, there’s no rush. I’ve waited this long, I can wait longer. I’d wait forever for you if you wanted me to,” he says as we kiss again.

My stomach starts to bubble and a wave of nausea comes over me. “Can we go back to bed now? I don’t feel so great.”

Hand in hand, we walk back to my room slowly—me with a slight limp as my crutches lay forgotten—and snuggle up close in the darkness. I rest my head on his chest and can feel the steady rhythm of his heart as his hand runs up and down my back—instantly, I feel better. I can’t get the thought out of my head that he has a tattoo of me. I need to know more. Looking up at him, I stroke my hand up and down his arm as I say, “So the girl in this tattoo is me? When did you get it?” I swirl my fingers over my face on the tattoo.

“I got it after we graduated when I was twenty-two, it’s from a photo.” He grabs his phone and finds the photo.

I gasp when I see the image. “How did you get this?”

Jake - Age 22

It’s the first game of my rookie season as a Seal and I am pumped. I may be warming the bench, but hey, a guy can still be excited, right? It’s a tough first game at home and late into the third period. We’re level 2–2 when, all of a sudden, I’m told to get out on the ice. Hoping to make an impact, I speed out, grabbing the puck from Codey and making my way down to the other end of the rink, avoiding getting checked into the boards as I go. The away team are all over me, but they’re just not as fast as these fresh legs. I take my shot and watch it sail straight past the goalie. It’s in. I scored in the final minutes of the game and got us the win. This is a high like I have never felt before and, if this is my life, I don’t ever want it to end. My celebration song comes on—“Heads Will Roll” by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs—and I do the worm, just as I promised my dad I would.

Lottie’s been texting me updates of the move to her beach house, sending me snaps of the beach, the house, Bella, and everything in between. When I got home from the game, I was full of restless energy and had this urge to make sure she was ok—the protector in me just needed to check the area was secure. I’d visited it plenty with her, but this was her first night alone in her new home. It’s about an hour's drive from my place, and it’s nearly 3 a.m. before I make it to the stretch of beach where her house is.

Sitting on the sand, I watch the house bathed in darkness just as a light comes on. What’s she doing up at this hour? I continue to watch, waiting for any more signs of movement—I swear, I’m not intentionally being a creeper or a stalker. That’s when I see her come out onto the terrace and look directly at me. She can’t see me in the darkness, but I can see her, and the sight takes my breath away. I pull out my phone, take a quick photo, and set it as my wallpaper straight away.

It’s in that moment I realize I’m in love with my best friend, and probably have been all this time.

Chapter 33

Jake

Lying in bed with Lottie curled up next to me was not how I expected my morning to start. I laid everything out for her, put my heart on the line, and I’m so glad I did. I still can’t believe she kissed me back, or that I told her the story behind the tattoo. It was beyond any of my wildest dreams, and I want to shout it from the rooftop. She’s currently sleeping her hangover off, and honestly? There’s nowhere I’d rather be than here, being her personal pillow. I glance at my phone, conscious I have morning skate. I can’t be the last one there—no way am I being the recipient of the dare again.

Gently stroking Lottie’s hair, I carefully move myself in the hope of slowly waking her up. As she starts to stir, I speak quietly into her ear. “Baby, I have to go to morning skate. I need to get up.”

Like a leech, she clings to me, refusing to let go. “Nooo, stay with me. I’m unwell, I swear I’m dying.” She’s so dramatic.

“You’re definitely not dying. I’ll be back this afternoon, ok?”

She begrudgingly lets me go and snuggles back under the covers, Bella right next to her. “Oh, Jake? I like it when you call me baby.” Beaming from ear to ear at her admission, I lean down and kiss her sweet lips before getting ready to leave.

When I arrive at the players’ parking lot, I scan my surroundings to see who’s already there. So far, I’ve clocked Theo and Codey’s cars, but I see no sign of Louis’. He’s never late or the last one to arrive, and we’ve been waiting a long time to dare him. It looks like for once, lady luck could be on our side.

I head to the changing room, where it’s confirmed Louis is not here yet and everyone else is. “You know what this means boys?” The whoop and cheer in the locker room is almost as loud as when we’ve just won a hard-fought game. “Have we got the prop ready?"

“Yep, it’s all good to go. When are we going to do it? After training? Let him think we forgot?” Theo says with a slightly evil glint in his eye.

“Good idea, let's let him think he's got away with it,” Codey echoes.

Suddenly, Louis bursts into the room out of breath. Checking the room, he sees us all sitting waiting for him and, instantly, his face pales—I swear I hear him gulp.