Page 20 of The Best Bad Decision

The internet made it clear that for a lot of Dominants, the caretaking aspect was a big appeal. They just found interesting ways of steering those desires. Casimir didn’t seem like the strong caretaker types I’d seen online but he was the watch out for people he felt responsible for type.

I knew that just by seeing some of the idiots he’d dated in the past.

“I know you want me to say yes, but I’m going to say it depends on the situation.” He smiled when I couldn’t quite hold back a sigh. “So dramatic.”

Shaking his head, he didn’t let my “drama” as he saw it distract him. “Under a lot of circumstances, yes, I would make sure the bribe was something both Bob and I enjoyed.”

“But…” I hadn’t fallen deep enough down that side of the internet to be confident I knew what he was going to say. I could connect the dots fairly well, though.

“But sometimes it’s not about what I want, it’s about what Bob needs. That changes things because Bob gives me an incredible amount of trust and I take that very seriously.” The expression he was wearing stopped any overthinking I’d been doing about taking the situation too seriously.

Clearly serious was the name of the game in BDSM.

“Rules are part of this, though, so in Bob’s case he could make a rule that if something was one-sided you had to explain that very clearly?” I had to know it was both consensual and enjoyable before I could relax.

And I was definitely the party who was supposed to relax into the right headspace.

The internet spelled that out plainly too.

There were even online quizzes I could take and virtual therapists who’d walk me through that shocking revelation, but while I was stupid in a lot of ways, I wasn’t delusional.

I was currently just confused.

Casimir’s lips twitched but he nodded. “Yes. Rules and structure are a big part of this so both parties know what to expect at a baseline. Some people like surprises beyond that, but they both have a steady foundation to start from.”

I liked steady.

His lips twitched again. “Say it.”

He was definitely the dramatic one no matter what he liked to think.

“I like steady.” I should’ve felt ridiculous but something about Casimir made it hard to feel stupid.

Nodding, his leg brushed against mine under the table. “It feels safe, and once you’re at that point, it’s a little easier to stretch out and try something different. The problem is that steady isn’t always easy to reach, so a lot of the time we never get beyond it.”

Ignoring the parts of my life that made steady impossible in the past, I did my best to focus on the present. Casimir hadn’t done anything to make me feel stupid or like the earth kept moving under my feet. He was different but that hadn’t turned out to be a bad thing yet.

“I’ve never gotten beyond that.” I was a generous lover and never an asshole, but I’d never branched out into anything…dynamic. “Part of what I’ve seen online makes me worry about looking stupid, though.”

There was no point in hiding that because if he made me feel stupid then we weren’t at steady.

“If something makes you feel stupid, it’s probably not the right thing for you.” He shrugged as I thought about what he’d said. “Some people in this lifestyle will argue with me about that, but from personal experience, if someone is feeling stupid or anything close to that, it’s probably because they’re not getting what they need in one way or another.”

Before I could figure out what I thought, he rubbed his leg against mine again and continued. “I met this couple at a…social event where lifestyle people hang out and get to know each other…it’s called a munch. Silly name. Fun time.”

Maybe it was named that because snacking was the main goal?

Casimir saved me from weird mental wanderings by continuing with his story. “But they’d started out trying to explore what people think of as traditional submission and even explored a few things that are on the more creative side. It all felt awkward, though. Like the too awkward to orgasm feeling.”

His wince made me fight back a smile.

“Eventually they realized they’d been looking in the wrong places and everything fell into place. Bam. No more feeling stupid and they were both happy.” The look on his face made it clear he loved that. “It just took some work and a bit of experimenting to figure out what made them happy.”

His bright smile faded into something more thoughtful as he focused back on me instead of the story. “I don’t have a long list of must haves when it comes to a relationship like this. I would love to help you explore what you’re curious about and what makes you feel sexy.”

What made me feel sexy…was that supposed to be easy or difficult?

Before I had to ask that, he charged right back in. “Going back to that bribe topic, to start with I’d need to ask a few questions like what your limits are currently and what you like best. Kissing or being kissed? There are no right or wrong answers to that and they’ll probably change over time.”