Page 103 of Enchanted

“Not at all,” Rami said. “But if you want to see them again, it’d be very easy to arrange⁠—”

“No. No, sorry.”

Rami continued to hold me tight. “Do you mind if I ask why?”

I took a deep breath, trying to organise my thoughts. “I know it might sound daft, but I’m not ready. So much has changed in the past couple of weeks. I’ve gone from dying with a boyfriend, to perfectly healthy and…”

I trailed off and Rami prompted me. “And?”

I lifted my head so he could see my sheepish smile. “Well, I was going to say ‘single,’ but that didn’t feel right.”

He stared at me for several blinks before giving me the most beautiful smile. “I like that it doesn’t feel right.”

“Good.” I snuggled back into his chest. “Because whatever we have going on here, I like that too. A lot.”

We were quiet for a few minutes, just sat on the floor, Rami holding me tight. He was taking my cuddle deprivation very seriously.

“I know it might feel scary to reconnect with them,” Rami said eventually. “And you’re right, you’ve been through a lot of change recently. But, when you’re ready, just know that they’re not going to hold anything against you. That’s not the kind of people they are.”

“Deep down, I know you’re right. But it’s not just that. What if my blood tests in a few days come back with bad news? What if they made a mistake earlier?”

“That’s not going to happen,” Rami growled, as though he could stop the cancer returning through willpower alone.

“I love the optimism, but I have to think about these things. I’m not prepared to welcome them back into my life if it’s going to end soon. If I have to go through chemo again, I’m not making anyone else suffer alongside me.”

Rami stiffened. “Even me?”

“I would never expect you to do that.” I sighed. “I don’t expect anyone else to hurt just because I am.”

“Maybe you should start expecting it,” Rami said, his voice trembling. Confused, I lifted my head to see fury in his eyes. “Let me tell you now, Ethan Routliff, that I’m not going anywhere.”

“I—”

“Nope.” He covered my mouth with his hand. He needn’t have bothered; the way he was glaring at me was enough to stun me into silence. “You’ve said your piece, and now it’s my turn. When you sit there and tell me you’re not going to make others hurt, you’re basically saying you’re not worthy of love.”

That wasn’t what I was saying.

Was it?

“When you love someone, when you care for them, you don’t let them go through hard times alone,” he continued, his face softening. “You support them regardless. And if you think for one goddamned second that I’m not going to be at your side for every one of those rough patches, then you’re in for a rude awakening, Ethan. This isn’t about you asking for my support, it’s me telling you that you’re getting it, whether you want it or not.”

Tears were rolling down my face now, hitting Rami’s hand where it still covered my mouth.

“I know why you feel this way,” he whispered. “I understand, Ethan. You’ve been let down in the past, not just by Dave, but by your father. You didn’t have anyone you could rely on before, but you do now. You have me. You have Sam. You have everyone who lives both in my house and yours. You might not understand why yet, but you will. And, when you’re ready for them, you’ll have a whole gang from Southampton in your corner too.”

He finally lifted his hand away, allowing me to speak. “I don’t deserve you.”

Rami smiled sadly. “See, that’s just it, Ethan. You deserve everything. You don’t believe me yet, and that’s okay. You will, because I won’t rest until you do.”

Chapter 28

Ethan

True to his word, Rami collected me for breakfast the next morning.

“How’d you sleep?” he asked as he opened the car door for me.

I flashed him a smile in thanks. “Like a log. Which is weird, because that never happens in a new place for me.”