Page 29 of A Mustang River Christmas

She had never really wanted a family. Even when she’d thought she might marry Pete, part of it had been because their ambitions fit together. She’d thought about how well they complemented each other career-wise.

Plus, her work kept her so busy, and she had never thought that would be fair for her to have a child if she was so obsessed with her job, plus her own experience of having a mother hadn’t been all that great.

But she was surprised how much the idea made her yearn now.

“I don’t think he wanted to miss every year,” Chloe said. “My mom didn’t let him come. For a while I know he wanted to, and she didn’t want to take the chance.”

“I don’t think he blames her for that.”

“I know he doesn’t. He isn’t angry at anyone but himself, and I don’t want him to feel that way. I want him to be happy. I think... he has a hard time with that. But I do. I just want him to be happy. I don’t need him to pay penance for anything... Even when he wasn’t around, I had my mom, I had everything that I could’ve possibly needed. I missed him. But my mom told me that he was sick. That he couldn’t always be there because of it. And I really... I’m grateful to her for that.”

“It sounds like your mom is pretty great.”

And if she felt just a tiny bit of jealousy because she was a woman that Pike had loved, she pushed that aside, because it was messed up, and it didn’t need to be there.

In fact, if she didn’t live in a jealous space, then she could probably understand Pike more by having an understanding of that relationship.

“She is. She’s great. Honestly, she feels guilty too. She feels like maybe she could’ve helped him more when he was recovering from his accident. Like, she pushed him a little bit too hard. I just... I’m always amazed how young they were when they had me. And how well they did anyway. And they didn’t stay together, but they get along better now than I remember them getting along when I was a kid and they were married.”

“That’s rare.”

“Very. And I feel like I’m lucky that way.”

“Did your mom remarry?”

Chloe nodded. “Oh yeah, and he’s a really nice guy. I like him a lot, but you know, he’s not my dad. My dad is my inspiration for so many things. He’s where I get my stubbornness from, my ambition. My dad is the person I want to be like. He’s resilient. I think I really understand him because I love my job the way he does. I know what he lost when he got in the accident was significant. I understand why it messed him up.”

“That’s a gift, you know. Having somebody know you like that. Having somebody who shares a passion the way that you do so that they can understand why you’re just a little bit... You know. We passionate few have a little bit of a screw loose.”

Chloe laughed. “Yeah. Definitely. My boyfriend Noah doesn’t really get it.”

“Oh. You have a boyfriend?”

“My dad didn’t mention it? His thinly veiled hatred for Noah is really something.”

She laughed. “No. He didn’t mention it. I suspect he wouldn’t. Out of deference to you.” She chewed her cheek. “He doesn’t like him?”

“No. Not at all. He pretends that he does. He doesn’t offer commentary, but I can tell that he doesn’t. I think what he doesn’t like is that Noah has issues with how into my job I am. And I think that just causes tension, but also, I think he’s projecting his marriage onto my relationship.”

“It sounds to me like your dad was legitimately obsessed with his job, and I’m not throwing stones. But that’s what he told me. That he was there all the time, and wasn’t as present as he should’ve been.”

“I guess. That isn’t really how I remember it, though. I remember always visiting him in the kitchen. Getting to go to the hotel and hang out sometimes. Yes, he was working when I was there, but I loved to watch him work. That was what inspired me to get involved in culinary arts. I didn’t want to be just like him, of course, so I became a chef instead. But I really thought that what he was doing was admirable. He was married with me before he was my age, and I think that’s wild. To have done that, and still accomplished what he did... It’s amazing. And you know, my mom kept going with her career too. She’s a sports analyst and writer for a major network. They supported each other. My dad made the money for a while, and it helped her get where she needed to go. He’s always supported us both financially, though my mom doesn’t need the help now. I just... Yeah, he wasn’t perfect. But having parents who are really into their jobs, I think is really cool. I like that they have passion. It helps me embrace mine.”

“And you’re still dating a guy who’s a little resentful?”

“Well, I did move a few states away. I can understand why he thinks it’s annoying. And is tired of having sex over FaceTime.”

Laney laughed. “I won’t mention that to your dad.”

“Thanks. I don’t know. I want to believe that I can have it all.”

“Of course you can,” Laney said, at the same time as she realized that she had never once had it all, and had never truly believed that she could.

“You think?”

“Yeah. I do. But... One thing I know for sure, Chloe, is that it has to be with the right man. Otherwise, it’s never going to work. You can only have it all if your partner is everything you need them to be. Ask me how I know.”

“How do you know?”