Page 126 of Deviant Need

I’m not very good at talking about my feelings. I’m good at asking Daniil about his, I guess, but expressing how I feel? Not my thing. I’m an expert at pretending to be okay. That’s just how I am. I bulldoze my way through life and deal with the consequences later.

The house has been good for us though.

We’ve been cooking together, trying out recipes that Daniil finds online. He’s terrible at following instructions and always adds random things into our food, but it usually turns out okay. We smoke weed on the back porch at night and watch the trees move in the wind.

Calder comes by sometimes to check on us. He brings Tank and lets that little demon waddle around the house. Alexei and Kelly visited last week and brought groceries, which was nice even though Alexei spent the whole time talking about how much he wants to murder someone who works for Kelly.

Everyone is here, sitting tensely. The whole dysfunctional crew. Lev, Yulian, Alexei, Kelly, me, and Daniil. It feels like we’re playing Russian roulette to see who will speak first because all of these idiots have been sitting here in silence for way too long.

“I don’t want to take over,” Lev says suddenly.

We all turn to glare his way. Daniil’s grip on my hand tightens, and he huffs out a laugh next to me.

I mean, we need to decide one way or another. Someone has to do it.

Alexei shrugs. “Not me either. I’d just murder all the potential clients, and that would be very bad for business.”

Kelly elbows him hard. “He’s right, don’t make him do it. I’m begging you.”

“Well, I’m not doing it,” I say, glancing at all of them. “I don’t want it.”

“Me neither,” Yulian adds.

Daniil shakes his head too.

Well, that’s just great. Nobody wants to take over the family operations that our family has spent decades building.

“Okay, then what do we do?” Lev asks, running a hand over his head. “Because Mama doesn’t want it either. She made that very clear.”

“Whoever draws the shortest stick loses and takes over,” Yulian says.

“Oh god. That’s a terrible idea,” Kelly says, immediately wincing.

“Fine, whatever,” I say, standing up and walking over to the kitchen. I grab a handful of wooden skewers from the drawer and snap them into different lengths. Five of them. One short, four long.

“This is the worst idea in the world,” I hear Lev muttering as I walk back.

I hold the skewers in my fist so only the tops are showing, all the same length visible. “Alright, assholes. Draw.”

Everyone stands up and circles around me, the tension thick enough to choke on.

They all grab their sticks at once, keeping their fists clenched tight.

I’m left holding the last one.

We all pull them out at the same time.

“Son of a bitch!” Yulian snaps and throws his stick to the ground. “Fuck me. I don’t want this. Why the hell should I take over? I like my life the way it is. I’m not cut out for running the whole operation.”

“Well, you lost, so all of you can leave now. I have better things to do,” I say, rolling my eyes.

“I don’t want it.”

“Nobody wanted it,” Lev says. “That’s why we did that.”

“This is bullshit,” Yulian snaps.

He’s the right choice because he’s smart and people actually like him for some reason. He knows how to handle clients and make deals that benefit us while the other side thinks they won. He’s good at strategy, at playing the long game, at all the things running this empire needs. The only problem is that he’s batshit crazy and has zero concept of appropriate behavior.