Page 59 of The Duke’s Defiant Love

"At first, it was precisely what people imagine. Philosophy. History. Politics. Literature. The nature of virtue. The nature of power."

"And then?"

"Then we grew older. And we had enough freedom to discover that there were rather a lot of things no one had ever taught us to discuss properly. Especially desire."

She smiled.

"We knew what society expected respectable men to believe about women, marriage, propriety and scandal." He paused. "What we did not know was whether any of it was true."

"And naturally, the four of you decided to investigate."

"Naturally. But there was more to it than youthful curiosity. We had all grown up surrounded by people who spoke endlessley of propriety while behaving quite differently in private. Men were expected to understand desire without ever admitting they had questions about it. They were also permitted freedoms that women were condemned for even understanding. Women were expected to marry with remarkably little knowledge of what marriage might require of them. Everyone had opinions about love. Very few people seemed willing to examine it honestly."

Amelia's expression softened.

"And you thought the four of you could do better?"

"We thought we could at least ask better questions. Then it became more serious as the years passed." Sebastian glanced toward the shelves surrounding them. "At first, we argued because we enjoyed arguing. Then we began bringing what we had read into the discussions. Philosophy. History. Poetry. Accounts of marriage. Writings on desire. Eventually, we began bringing our own experiences."

Amelia's brows lifted.

"Your own experiences."

"Yes, some of what you saw that night at Curzon Street grew out of those discussions."

"Thank you for telling me. All of it."

"Thank you for not looking at me the way I feared you might, once I'd said it. Though I confess I have never discussed this with anyone outside the Circle so plainly until this moment, and I am not entirely certain why tonight, in this room, felt like the night to finally do it."

"Because this room is the one place you have never had to perform anything for anyone." She squeezed his hand, feeling the weight of what he'd just handed her settle somewhere important. "And because you trust me with it."

"Yes," he said, quietly. "That is precisely why."

His arm came around her, drawing her closer, and for a long while neither of them said anything further, content simply to sit together before the fire.

She let the silence hold a moment, the crackling of the fire the only sound in the room, before she managed, gently, to lighten it. "Well. I confess this rather explains why four scholars overcomplicated love and intimacy so thoroughly. You made a philosophy of it."

A surprised laugh broke out of him, some of the weight visibly easing from his shoulders. "I begin to think you are correct."

"I generally am." She leaned into him, resting her head against his shoulder, feeling him relax by degrees beneath her.

She tilted her head, curiosity getting the better of her. "What did you learn from the Circle, Sebastian, that you actually enjoyed most?"

Something shifted behind his eyes, warm and considering, and his gaze dropped briefly to her mouth before returning to meet hers directly. "It is rather too early to tell you that."

"Too early?"

"Considerably too early."

"That is an infuriating answer."

"I know."

"When will it no longer be too early?"

His smile deepened.

"Perhaps one day."