Page 111 of True Abandon

His browns pinch in. “Last night at the hotel…even this morning, you liked it rough. I’m not complaining, but it seems like you’re trying to keep me at a distance.”

I bang my head backward into the pillow. Of course, Jax would be the first boyfriend to ever question my love of kinky sex.

It’s now or never so I reach an arm to my nightstand and pull open the top drawer. I watch as his jaw falls completely slack. His eyes are stunned straight.

Inside my top drawer are my sex toys. Everything from a simple purple tickler to a whip, flog, nipple clamps, and ben wa balls.

His head starts nodding slowly at he rakes over everything in the drawers. Every feather, every piece of leather and battery operated item.

With a grunt he pushes himself off of me, rises form the bed and pulls the whole thing out of the nightstand.

“What are you doing?” I yell as he walks the drawer out of the bedroom.

I hear the sound of a foot stomping and clanging coming from the kitchen. There’s a loud shake and then a slam. Jax walks back in the room with an empty drawer. He closes the door and puts the drawer back in the nightstand.

He climbs back in bed, his bodyback over me.

“If we’re using any toys together it’s gonna be new shit that only you and I have touched.” He’s being completely serious.

I nod in agreement.

“Now, I need to know, when was the last time you made love to someone. With out toys and pain, without gimmicks and roughness. When was the last time you let someone cherish you with nothing but their body and the words of their mouth?”

His question makes my heart stop. Of all the things we’ve conquered in our seven day experiment, this is the scariest of things to admit.

“Not since I was sixteen years old.” I swallow. “Not since I was with you.”

His face falls. His eyes turn down as the realization hits him. “That’s what I thought.”

He gets up again and pulls me along with him. He’s wearing a pair of pants and no shirt.

I’m here in a bra and panties.

“Undress me,” he demands.

I follow my directions.

With steady hands, I undo the belt buckle of his pants. The belt falls to the side as I unzip his pants. I push them down his legs until he’s left in just a pair of black boxer briefs.

Jax raises his hands and tucks a finger under each bra strap. Slowly he lets them fall down my arms. I turn around so he can unhook my bra. He does so and I watch as that falls to the ground.

With his chest up against my back, the heat of his skin warming my nearly naked body, he hooks his fingers into my panties and lowers them down my legs.

I turn around. Placing my palms on his chest, I feel his heartbeat, wildly thumping beneath his skin. I feel the hard muscle under soft skin. My fingers trace the ink that leads down his stomach.

“Who is she?” I ask when I see the eye on his forearm. It makes me gaze up at the lips on his neck.

“You,” he whispers. “But you already knew that.”

Running the pads of my fingers over the tattoo of my eye looking to into the future, I continue my trek back to his stomach and grip the elastic of his boxers and pull them out and over his throbbing erection. I don’t know if it’s because he’s been waxed but he looks bigger than I remember, his girth wider than my dreams.

I wrap my fingers over his shaft and give it a pump an then another, my thumb gliding over the enlarged head.

Jax pushes his boxers down further and then pulls the blankets down on the bed.

Settling in above me, he lines himself up with my entrance, looks down at me and simply whispers, “I’m going to make love to you. Just me and you. Nice and slow.”

I widen my legs and run my nails up and down his back.