Page 6 of True Abandon

“You don’t know that,” I argue but am cut off by her raised brows and pursed lips, daring me to finish my sentence.

My face must contort into an odd expression because she quickly adds, “You can come with me.”

“What would I do there? You’re a hair stylist. You can work anywhere. I don’t see Hawaii bustling with television jobs.”

“You act like I’m moving to the wilderness. There are jobs in Hawaii. And so what if you can’t get a producing gig? You never wanted to work there, anyhow—it was your fall back job. You can put your years as an assistant to good use and work in a hotel or any other office. I’m sure that fancy boss of yours, Alexander Asher, has connections. Doesn’t he own hotels or restaurants or something?”

“I’m not asking Asher to get me a job. Besides, he’s dismantling the company. He’s not exactly my boss anymore.”

Her arms fly out dramatically. “Exactly! You’re gonna be out of a job soon, anyway!”

“The new board of directors may want me.”

Kelli leans in closer. Her potent scent of dahlias and spice is giving me a headache. “Why are we staying in this city? Don’t vie for a job at a company you don’t want to be with when there are so many other opportunities out there. Haven’t you ever just wanted to take a chance and do something so out of the box it scares you?”

I shake my head. Not because the answer is “no.” Because the answer is “always.” I’m always taking chances—putting myself out there, doing dumb things in an attempt to right a wrong.

As if seeing I’m not in the mood to have this conversation, she steps back and adjusts her dress making sure the sequins are all facing in the downward direction. “Think about it, okay. At least come visit.”

I offer her a sideways smile. “Of course, I’ll visit. You can show me how to hula.”

“I’m gonna get some hot guys to teach us how to surf!” She spins on her heel and prances into the living room, stopping in front of the television. “Do you really think this storm is going to be as bad as they predict?”

The deluge of swirling wind echoes as it hits the panes. There’s an ominous cloud of the unknown that sends a chill up my spine and makes my hair feel like its standing on end.

“I think it’s going to be worse.”

Kelli scrunches her lips. “Well, we have everything we need here, right? Go get dressed.”

“I’m not going to that party.”

“Come on! What the heck are you going to do up here alone all night?”

“Workout and catch up on some reading.”

She points a finger. “Don’t sit on your Kindle all night. The battery will die.”

“Look at you worrying about losing power.”

She gives me a sly grin. “If you change your mind, you know where I’ll be.” She slides her shoes on and gives her hair a toss before leaving.

As soon as the door closes behind her, my hands are in my hair, and I pull on the strands as hard as I can without hurting myself. With a loud exhale, I walk around the small kitchen island and pace the living room.

Standing still with Kelli here, was driving me insane. Between my dream, Kevin, Vince, the storm, and now Kelli’s announcement of her impending move, my anxiety is off the charts.

I breathe in and out with measured beats and try to calm myself. Shaking my arms away from my body, I jog in place in an attempt to expel this pent-up energy.

After all her threats of skipping town, Kelli is actually leaving. I can’t sort out my feelings. I’ll miss her like crazy. That’s a fact. I’ve only had one true confidant since high school, and that’s her. I have a lot of friends, but those relationships are superficial—bar nights and shopping excursions with acquaintances, not true friends. Kelli is the only one who knows the real me.

My jog turns into jumping jacks. Letting my arms fly over my head, I think about what this will mean for me. I could get a new roommate, but who would that be. I can’t live with a stranger and all of my friends have roommates or boyfriends or prefer to live alone. Even if they wanted to move in, I don’t know if I could handle that. What I show on the surface is different from what Kelli knows about me on the inside—and I haven’t even showed her everything.

Sweat drips down my neck as I fall to the floor and do sit-ups—working out helps clear my head. Tonight, as the rain pelts the glass, the thought of the impending hurricane spinning around the city has me pushing myself harder than usual.

Kevin will want to move in. He’ll hate the idea of me living alone, and without Kelli, I have no excuse not to take our relationship to the next level.

My abs burn, the pain stinging from my hips up to my collarbones, and my chest constricts with each rise.

Kelli is leaving me.