Page 64 of True Abandon

Meet me by my car after school. I have a surprise for you. And, no, it’s not a miniature pig.

That was the day he bought me a cell phone. My parents were strict. Not only was I not allowed to date, but I also couldn’t have a phone. We spent many nights whispering under the covers. It was during those nights I learned the only reason he wanted to be a lawyer was to please his father. I shared with him my most embarrassing stories, including the time I walked around grade school with my skirt tucked into my tights for an entire class before Ella told me.

He expressed his annoyance with not being able to tell anyone we were a couple. I asked him to wait. At least this way, my parents let me go to Ella’s house, which also acted as a diversion to see him. Especially at two o’clock in the morning when everyone else was asleep.

Despite my parents’ no-boys rule, I was able to get out frequently. In those six months, we spent a lot of time together. So much so, we were connected on a level I had never experienced with anyone else. Based on the note in my hands, neither had he.

Dear Triciana,

I just saw you. You didn’t see me because you were rushing to class. It was only for a second, but that short second was all I needed. I can’t believe what you do to me, and I swear it’s more than just what you do to me in my pants. I feel it in my heart.

I never knew what being in-love would feel like. My parents aren’t the most affectionate people in the world. They’re just two people who exist in the same house and have children together.

That’s what I thought relationships were until I met you. You with this vibrant personality and kind heart. You who tutors kids for free and volunteers at the food shelter. You who is the smartest person I know and is going to make an incredible journalist one day. You who is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my life. And you said you loved me too.

I still can’t believe it. Part of me wonders if you only said it because I said it first. If so – that’s okay. I just want you to know I don’t care if you’re not fully there yet. I just couldn’t hold back from telling you how I felt.

The truth is I love you so damn much it scares me.

I love the way you giggle when you laugh and how you scrunch your nose when you think I’m being stupid. I love the way you chew on all of your pen caps or how you paint one nail a different color from the rest. I love the way you can read a book in a day and how you always have a plan for everything. I love the way you watch the news like you’re studying for an exam and how you dance in the passenger seat of my car. I love that you put strawberry jam on your turkey sandwich even though it’s vile and how you still believe Honey Crisp is the superior apple to all the rest. I love you when you’re sick and have a nose red and full of snot and I love you even in that horrible pink shirt that makes you look like a seventy-year-old retiree. I love the way you hold my hand when I drive and I love the way you feel when you lie down in my arms.

I want to thank you because now I know what being in-love feel likes and I don’t ever want it to end. I know we’re young, but I promise no matter what I’ll always be here. Love that feels this good, love this powerful, can’t ever be turned off.

Jackson

chapter FOURTEEN

Walking into the Kauai Princess, my eyes linger toward the corridor leading to the Pele suite. There’s a woman walking down the hall, so I turn and make my way to the reception desk.

“You left early yesterday,” Lani appears beside me as I log in and wait for my desktop to load. My attention drifts to the corridor that leads to Jax’s suite.

“Tired. Long day.” My mouse rolls over the reservation log.

I’m about to click on it when Lani says, “He didn’t check out.”

I turn to face her. “What makes you think I’m looking to see if he’s still here?” I tap on the desk and look around the room before finally giving into her smirk. “So he’s still here?”

“Yup!” she chirps with a gleeful look. “Been up since the crack of dawn.”

“Good. I mean, I want to make sure my guests have the best experience. Wait,” I spin toward Lani who is now on the other side of me at her computer. “Why was he up so early?”

“He’s been snorkeling in the bay. He rented a boat and has been out there all morning. This wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with you two being out there yesterday, would it? That man pulled your boat all the way in and as soon as you hit the sand, you bolted out the door.”

I narrow my eyes at her. “Lani—”

“It’s none of my business of course.” She adjusts the pens on the desk and lines them up like little soldiers. “There’s just been such an interesting turn of events with the two of you—very interesting for someone you’ve never met.”

“What has your grandmother told you?”

“Ah ha!” She points her finger at me. “I knew there was something big going on between you and Olivia Benson.”

I cringe. “Please don’t call him that anymore.”

“Tutu didn’t say a word. Now that I know she has intel I’ll have to pry it out of her.”

“Don’t you dare!” I bite my lip and stare out the window, not able to see the bay at all. “So he’s just snorkeling? Like, he’s looking for fish?”

“Beats me. Thought you’d know.” She looks like she’s about to say something else when her eyes shoot up to the other side of the room. “Well, hello there Mr. Sexy.”