Page 47 of A Really Bad Idea

“We’re giving it a six-month trial.” I push off the shelf and walk through the shoe section again.

“A six-month trial?” Beth scurries up behind me as I approach a display table of Badgley Mischka.

I lift a wedge sandal to distract her. Her pupils dilate the way they do when she sees something extra pretty. She’s staring at the crystals lining the T-strap on the front of the shoe when her focus narrows and shifts back to me.

“You’re having sex for six months and then what? If you’re not pregnant, you just go back to how things were before?”

I squint my eyes at her, hating how her question is laced with insinuation. For the record, I don’t hate her. Just her question. Because I can’t answer it.

“It’s not like we’re bored and we want to spice things up. Christian and I have five degrees between the two of us. We’ve weighed the pros and cons, and yes, the list of cons is long, but we’re doing it.”

Beth’s lip quirks to the side. “Doing it.”

“Beth,” I warn.

She places the shoe back on the table and tucks a stray hair behind her ear. Her eyes fall from ceiling to floor as she inquires, “Have you?”

“Not that it’s any of your business, but no, we haven’t.” I point at her.

She points a finger back. “Since you’re letting me in on this big secret of yours, it kind of is my business.” She drops her finger and walks past me, running a hand along a very sexy black stiletto. “When are you planning to try?”

“He wants to go on some dates first before we hop in bed.”

She raises a brow. “Dates?”

“Yes.”

Her casual demeanor drops, and her eyes are back to doing that bugged-out thing. If it wasn’t for her Botox, I’d think she’d form a wrinkle.

“And you don’t see how this will get complicated? What happens if one of you falls for the other, and your heart gets broken? Things can get messy. This is a child you’re talking about.”

“No one is falling in love,” I assure her, although I’m not entirely sure if I’m assuring her or myself. “Yes, we will be bound in a more emotional way, but that’s part of creating a life. One we have agreed to bring into this world. I don’t even know why I’m getting ahead of myself. I might not be able to get pregnant at all.”

“You have to go into this as if you will.”

I hold my attention on a pair of baby-blue stilettos, but my mind wanders somewhere else—to a place where walls are lined in that exact shade of blue, and there’s a whitewashed crib on the far wall. Inside it is a baby who smells of powder and coos when I peer at him.

I drop the aloof facade and get real with my sister. “I want it, Beth. There are some women who are destined to be mothers, and I’m one of them. It’s not because I think it’s what I should do. I know, without a doubt, it’s what I was meant for.”

“Oh, Meadow, I want you to be a mom, too. It’s the most fulfilling thing in the entire world. It’s also the most nerve-racking, gray-hair-inducing, need-a-glass-of-wine-at-the-end-of-the-day experience, but it’s awesome. You’ll be a fantastic mom. I just want to make sure you’re not rushing into this.”

“Rushing? I feel like I’ve been waiting forever. As for me and Christian, don’t worry. We’re not rushing into anything. There are still two more dates.”

She pauses by the loafers and skims the leather of one with her pointer finger. “About these dates,” she pries with a sly grin and an inquisitive gleam in her eye.

“The first was dinner. Nothing crazy. I don’t know where the next will be. And, no, we haven’t even kissed, so don’t ask.”

“But there will be sex?” she asks.

“Yes. That’s kind of the point.”

She’s quiet. Her eyes roam the display, but they don’t focus on anything as she lets out a hum, letting me know she has something she wants to discuss but doesn’t know how to ask it.

I cross my arms and tilt my head with a smile. “What?”

Her cheeks pink. “You have to admit, you’ve always wondered what he’s like in bed.”

“Not once.”