Page 118 of Just Ten Seconds

After dinner, we grab our coats and make our way back to the theater. My mother is quickly in her car, hoping to get back to Queens at a good hour. Amanda bounces off toward Dean’s truck with Ines, leaving just him and me standing here.

My hands are wrapped around my coat as the evening chill sets in. His hands are in the pockets of his leather coat. He looks so similar to the first night he waited for me after the meeting. The night he took me for coffee and he won me over with his choice in Netflix shows.

I hug my arms around me tighter, for fear I might throw myself at him and apologize again for being such a fool. I should have told him then. Maybe if I had, he’d still be mine.

“Sorry about my mom,” I say.

“She’s hard. She doesn’t give sympathy easily. Pain can do that to a person.”

“Not to everyone. Some people remain kind despite being hurt,” I muse as I look up into his handsome face and the shadows that accentuate his strong jawline.

“Only the strong ones.” His mouth rises on the side.

I wish we were back to the way we had been. When conversation wasn’t so forced and there wasn’t this distance between us.

“Anyway, I’m sorry for the intrusion.”

“It’s okay. Amanda enjoyed having you around tonight,” he states, and I’m not deaf to the fact that he left out himself in that statement.

As much as our friendship has died and this romance has fizzled, I can’t deny that there is still this tie that binds us. I can feel it.

“See you around, Mara.” He takes a small step forward and lightly kisses me on the cheek.

I close my eyes and savor that kiss because it’s the last kiss I’ll probably ever receive from Dean Delgado.

“Happy birthday to you,” Jackie sings as she holds a small cake in front of her.

Nick sings out of tune next to her as she places the cake on the table in front of me. A number three and zero candle are lit on top. I look down and wonder how I got to be thirty years old and I’m just now figuring out the life I should be living.

I close my eyes and make a wish.

Nick hits the lights, and Jackie takes out the plates as I start cutting the cake. Nick slips his hat backward and then grabs a plate. The television in the living room has a UFC fight on, and from the way he’s craning his neck, I know he’s dying to be in there.

I place a large slice on a plate and hand it to him. “Eat this in there,” I say with a nudge toward the living room.

He grabs a spoon and the plate. “Don’t have to ask me twice.”

Jackie shakes her head with a hand on her hip. “He’s the rudest man ever.”

I laugh. “He’s a good man who made a chocolate lava cake for my birthday. How do you not gain a thousand pounds, being married to a man who can cook the way he does?” I take a bite of my cake and salivate over the rich flavor in my mouth. “And he bakes. Wow. You should serve this in the café.”

“His culinary abilities are definitely in the top three sexiest things about him.” She smirks.

“What’re number one and two?”

“His curly hair and foot massages,” she says without missing a beat. “The man knows the way to a woman’s heart is through her feet.”

I laugh and take another bite of cake.

“What about Dean? Are you still holding your breath to see if he knocks on your door?”

Seeing him at the theater was almost painful. I’ve almost called him at least ten times since then. All I want is to hear his voice. I miss his jokes. I miss the way he laughs. I miss the way he cracks his knuckles when he yawns or how he rakes his fingers through his hair. I miss his grins.

I miss the way he holds my palm. I miss the way he kisses.

Mostly, I just miss Dean.

“What did you wish for?” Jackie asks. She’s holding my birthday candles in her hand.