Page 115 of Wild Abandon

I run my fingers through my hair and look at the ceiling for guidance, resolution, something. “What are you saying? Run to New York? Sail off into the sunset with Crystal? And who’s to say she even wants me? I destroyed her.”

Ed places his cap back on his head. “Most men are lucky to be loved by only one great woman. You have been fortunate enough to be loved by two. Don’t let the moment pass you by.” He makes his way to the door, and just before he’s about to exit, he turns and says, “And, Nate, I don’t mind reading, but Little Women? I like when you leave the Tom Clancy ones.”

chapter TWENTY-FIVE

CRYSTAL

“She’s so beautiful.” My voice is a light whisper as I hover over baby Isla.

Emma had her a few weeks early, but fortunately, Isla is a healthy and happy bundle of joy.

“She has her daddy’s eyes,” Emma beams.

And she should. Her husband has amazing golden eyes, the color of honey. Most babies are born with blue, but this little miracle is already showing hints of gold.

“The rest is all you, love. She’s perfect.” Alexander puts his hand on Emma’s cheek and pulls her in for a kiss.

It’s precious to see their little family. The amount of love in this apartment is astounding.

And pink.

Everything is pink.

Emma was right. Alexander went overboard when he found out it was a girl.

I place Isla in her father’s arms and watch as he walks down the hallway, singing a sweet song to his daughter. Emma looks like she’s about to cry. It’s most likely the hormones. She keeps on saying they’re making her extra emotional.

“Tissue?” I offer.

“Thanks.” She takes the tissue and wipes her eyes. “You’d think I’d be all cried out already. I can’t wait to get my emotions back in check. My doctor tried to give me pills, but I threw them at her. Coffee?”

I nod my head and walk with her into the kitchen.

“So, how’s it, staying with your parents?” Emma asks as she makes me a cup.

“Interesting,” I say slowly.

My parents are planning a humanitarian trip to Nepal and are learning to speak Nepali while practicing the Hindu and Buddhist traditions, so they can sympathize with the people they are reaching out to. They’ve already been regulating their diets to attune to the Nepalese culture.

“I can’t wait to get back to my apartment. The lease is up in a few weeks, so I’ll be back in my home.”

“You can stay here if you want. We have plenty of room.” Emma leans her elbow onto the counter, a cup in her hands.

Yes, I could stay with Emma and Alexander. They have a beautiful three-bedroom apartment in Brooklyn. But they also just had their first child. I am not going to impose on this special time in their life.

“Thanks, but my parents are really excited to have me home even if it’s only for a few weeks.”

“Suit yourself.” She eyes her cup for a second before speaking, “So, you never made it the whole six months, huh?”

I shrug my shoulders and concede at the thought that I failed at my attempt to Eat, Pray, Love. My nonchalant attitude I’ve been keeping up all morning starts to fade. “I couldn’t stay. After seeing Nate with Ellie, I knew I was causing more harm than good. I spent three days by myself at a hotel by the beach. Did a lot of thinking. When I got back to Napa, I packed my bags and said good-bye.”

Emma nods, remembering the call I gave her that day, telling her I would be on my way back to New York.

“And your boss? Ed, was it? How did he take it?”

I sigh at the sound of Ed’s name. He had known I was coming to say good-bye before I even got there. I was nervous, wondering what he might think of me—the woman in love with his daughter’s husband. Instead, he apologized to me, said he should have let me know how he and Nate were connected. I understood why he hadn’t said anything. He knew it would break my heart.

We spoke for a while in the garden about life and love, Ellie’s condition, Nate’s isolation, and before I left, I needed him to clarify something.