Page 121 of Wild Abandon

Well, there is one thing that I’m lacking.

A wife.

The damn girl won’t marry me. At first, it was impossible. I was still married to Ellie, and I’d never end the marriage to her. Not while she was still on this earth.

But Ellie has been gone for a year, and now, I want to make Crystal Reid my wife. I’ve tried everything. I even had Austin ask her for me. She won’t even do it for our son. She’s a stubborn woman, that Crystal Reid.

I run up the stairs and take my shower. Then, I grab a bottle of Jack and old Willie Mays, and we walk over to the veranda where the Santangellos are joining us for dinner. Most nights, we have dinner on the veranda. It’s easier for Ed.

When I brought Crystal back to Napa, we rented a home in San Rafael for a few weeks until Ed said he couldn’t climb the stairs to the apartment above the garage anymore. Told us to knock it down and build something of our own. Crystal and I were hesitant until Ed showed up with a crane one day and started tearing the thing down himself. We turned the office of Russet Ranch into a bedroom for Ed.

“Daddy!” Austin is the first to run up to me.

I grab him and lift him high in the air. His face is full of fudge. Typical.

“Wook,” he says as he shoves his palms in my face, opening them to reveal a small frog.

“Nice catch, buddy. Let’s put him in Naomi’s hair,” I whisper into his ear.

And the little devil smiles. Okay, so maybe Ed isn’t the one responsible for Austin’s whimsical ways.

I put him down, and he takes off for the veranda. He walks up behind Naomi, who is sitting at the long dining table, talking to Jeremy. Austin’s face scrunches in confusion when he finally decides to use the chair next to Naomi to get up high. Then, he places the frog in her curly dark hair. Ever the mischievous toddler, he stands there with his hands covering his mouth as he laughs.

“What’s so funny?” Naomi asks her godson with squinted eyes.

Jeremy is pressing his lips together, trying to keep from bursting out loud, and his face is turning bright red in the process.

“Austin Teller, if there is a worm on my head, I will tell your mother!” Naomi starts patting her head, which makes Austin giggle even harder. When her hand touches the slimy, sticky little green guy, she bolts up from her seat. “What is on my head?” she screeches, batting at her hair.

The frog jumps onto the floor and hops away from the commotion toward the rose garden.

My laughs are pretty loud as well, leading Naomi to look at me with a face that’s part angry but mostly amused.

She points her finger at me. “You’re gonna pay for that.”

I walk over with my hands up in defense. “Don’t blame me. I was all the way over there.”

Naomi turns to Austin. “Who told you to put that frog in my hair?”

“Daddy.”

Naomi gives me an I-knew-it look.

I kiss her on the cheek. “Just make sure to check for head warts.”

“Warts?” she yells.

“Calm down, Mom,” Scarlet says, walking over from where she was reading a book on the bench. “It’s a myth that frog pee will give you warts.” She gives her mom an eye roll, the way only preteens can.

“What’s with all the racket? You’d think there was a rave going on out here.”

“Hey, Ed.” Jeremy rises to shake the old man’s hand. “Austin crowned Naomi with a frog.”

Ed looks over to the little guy, who is now standing at the foot of his cane. Ed puts out a fist. “Way to go, kid.”

The two fist-bump, and then Ed pulls a small plastic gun out of his pocket. “You and I are going to do some shooting practice.”

I shake my head. “Ed, he’s only two.”