Page 63 of Pure Abandon

“You never call me Kathryn.” I let out a shy smile.

“Only when I’m mad at you.”

“Very funny.”

“Listen.” His voice is low. “I don’t know why you’re distressed, but I can tell you this. This business. Everything is numbers and bottom lines. But sometimes, something may look great on paper. Hell, it may look like a fucking cakewalk. But if there is something in my gut that says it’s wrong, then I walk away.

“The same goes for when I know I should be doing something.” He continues. “If I know it’s right, if I feel it’s right, then I have to do it or else it’s all meaningless.” His eyes look to mine for understanding.

I try to comprehend his words. “What do you do if the issue at hand is personal? If it’s not business?”

“Then I follow my heart. I’m impulsive that way.”

“I was afraid you’d say that.” My breath leaves my body.

“Listen. The world isn’t all black and white. Sometimes it’s… grey, Gray.”

I smile reticently, my body at ease and my mind at rest. “Are you mocking me?”

His lips cock into a crooked smile. “I believe I am.”

Follow my heart? My heart knows I’m going entirely overboard. My brain knows what it saw and heard, but what was it I thought I saw or heard? When did I become so insecure? Perhaps I always was, yet Gabriel never gave me the opportunity to see just how insecure I was over him. He’s always been so attentive. His world revolved around me. Am I being so self-indulgent that I can’t imagine him having another life aside from the one I’m in? He’s a hardworking man. I can’t be so jealous of the time he puts into his career. Isn’t that exactly what I asked him not to do? I wanted to have a staple of my own, a place where I was important and productive outside of our marriage.

And that stupid pesky blonde from the park? Gabriel’s a nice guy. He makes friends easily. Always has, always will. It’s fine he runs with her. I have lunch with Asher and there’s nothing indecent going on here.

As for that conversation I heard in the store, I must have misheard. My imagination runs away from me sometimes. Gabriel is a good man. He’s my man. I can’t believe I almost let Malory help me dig a deeper hole of despair just thinking about it. When here, Asher is being the voice of reason.

Pulling my thoughts back to the now, Asher is looking at me with a peculiar mix of intensity and contentment. “Thank you,” he breathes.

“For what?”

“Confiding in me. It’s new for me. I like it.” His voice is low.

“You’re a good friend,” I whisper.

“I try.”

Catching my eye, I notice a beautiful piece of artwork hanging on the wall over Asher’s shoulder. A triumphant, gold, jeweled cross, adorned with emerald, sapphire, and citrine stones, lies against a black backdrop. The alpha and omega symbols hang from the arms of the cross. Asher follows my gaze.

“It’s called the Crux Gemmata,” he explains, looking at the early medieval art. “Do you see the tree in the center of the cross? It symbolizes the story of Adam and Eve. The first original sin.”

“It’s stunning.” My eyes meet his again.

“Feel better?”

“Surprisingly, yes.” A grin crosses my face.

“You have a beautiful smile, Gray.”

Breaking the intense eye contact, I grab my files from the desk and rise from the table. “Enough with the compliments. I think we’ve crossed enough lines this afternoon.”

Asher swiftly rises. “Don’t start with that again…”

I hold my hand up in protest. “No. You misunderstood. I’m not admonishing you. Thank you. I mean it. I feel much better.”

“You should.” His words are sincere. “You have me.”

I do.