Page 90 of Pure Abandon

“Since we have no idea what time it is, I didn’t know if you wanted breakfast or dinner.” His full mouth is mesmerizing as he speaks. I lean over to kiss it.

“This is perfect. I’m starving.”

He laughs heartily. “Perfect. What would you like?”

“Pancakes!”

“I ordered them especially for you. You told me that night we went out to the bar. You were standing under the streetlight, looking like heaven. I wanted to kiss you then, but I knew you’d just run.”

I recall that night. He wanted to kiss me? Thank God he hadn’t. I would have quit my job.

“You were my knight in shining armor. You took care of me that night. There is something about you. I fall apart when I’m around you.”

“That’s good to know because I feel the same way about you.”

I recall Asher’s words from last night. He’s been an equal wreck around me. All this time he wanted me yet pretended to be friends for personal gain. Am I another one of his toys, another conquest? Now that he’s had me, will he be done with me?

It’s probably for the best. I’m married. I know that’s what Asher likes about me. I’m someone with a husband pulling the string straight back home. Even though my husband is a total cheating bastard. But that is no excuse. I am now one, too.

The pancakes are warm and buttery, as sinful as the act they follow. I dive my fork and marvel at how easy they separate. They remind me of the first night I spent with Gabriel, or shall I say the first morning?

I awoke to the smell of butter on a frying pan. I knew something delicious was cooking in the kitchen. Yes, there was something very delicious: Gabe in nothing but sweatpants and a spatula, making me pancakes in the very modest kitchen of his college apartment. I must have startled him when I entered the room because he dropped a pancake on the floor at the sight of me.

His face was young and eager, his smile broad and excited to see I was still there. Gabe ushered a chair for me, and I took a seat as he poured me a glass of orange juice. I couldn’t deny my surprise that he had the ingredients to make breakfast. Not many boys kept a stocked refrigerator or anything other than beer and Ramen noodles. Even still, he didn’t strike me as the type of guy who made breakfast often.

I raised the fork to my mouth and took a bite. One bite and, boy, was I right about this one.

How on earth did he make them so hard?

Maybe if I tried adding more butter or syrup they’d taste better. No, no help. I looked up to see Gabe staring at me, watching me eat. I put on a gracious smile. It was so cute that he cooked for me. I couldn’t insult him.

When Gabe finally took a bite himself, he immediately spit it out. “Oh my God, that’s awful!”

Call it nervous energy and completely inappropriate for the mood, but I broke out into complete laughter. I was so relieved he felt the same way that I just let out the biggest, gut-wrenching laugh; I nearly fell out of my seat. After a few beats, Gabe joined in laughing too and that felt even better.

When our nerves and laughter had settled, we sat for a few seconds and caught our breath until a frown formed across Gabriel’s eyes. He stood and walked toward the kitchen, pushing his long brown hair off his forehead, taking a few paces in the kitchen before returning to the table and taking his seat.

“What’s the matter?” I asked.

Leaning back on his chair, Gabe crossed his arms across his hunched chest. His chin lowering as he shook his head.

“I wanted to impress you,” he said.

Lifting myself from the chair, I walked toward him. Uncrossing his hands, I pulled them apart and took a seat on his lap, wrapping my arms around him. I landed a sweet kiss on his lips and looked into his navy blues.

“You are the most impressive man I’ve ever met. I don’t need pancakes. I just need you.”

His grin melted my heart and widened into a gorgeous smile that reached his eyes. Tugging me closer, he kissed me with his whole body, and I reciprocated.

“Come back to me, Kathryn.”

I smile at the memory of a simpler time. A time that wasn’t that long ago yet feels so far away. It’s amazing how much people can change in a day, a year, a decade. It’s a hard lot to swallow when you’re promising an eternity.

“Stop overthinking.” Asher’s eyes are on me. He stands up and makes his way around the table and leans down to me, placing soft kisses on my shoulder. “Come. Back. To. Me.”

Even though we’ve been more intimate than some married couples, I still feel nervous around him. I smile and try to ease his curiosity. He wants one day, and I want to give it to him. With Asher, I feel as sexy and alive as I did when I was a teenager. And I want to live in this moment.

“I know you like living in our cocoon up here, but we should get some fresh air,” I suggest, turning to my side and facing a kneeling Asher.