Page 99 of Pure Abandon

My bottom lip trembles. “I don’t know what makes sense anymore, Alex.”

He smiles at my use of his first name. That’s our way of knowing we’re okay.

Looking down at my hand, Asher notices the umbrella. I hand it over to him. “Part of the no-gift policy,” I say with a shy smile. He knows better than to argue with me over this. He takes the pearl handle and places the umbrella on the floor by the door. If I didn’t know him so well, I would miss the wounded expression that creeps across his face.

He looks back at me. “Why didn’t you tell me you had a son?”

I shrug my shoulders. It’s the question I’ve been asking myself all weekend. As confused as I am about why he never knew, the truth is once he found out I had a son, he freaked out. That is the type of man he is. He wants no strings attached. Fooling around with a married woman was the perfect situation. But throw in a child and you change the game. That is a major string. He reacted just like I thought he would.

Confused and ashamed, I turn my body and start to head toward the door, when a strong hand lands on my shoulder and forces me back around. My body swivels around and into him, landing on his hard chest and staring up into the unwavering eyes of Alexander Asher.

“I never thought I’d find someone like you,” he says. I draw my hand up to his lips to stop him from speaking, but he grabs my finger and pulls it away. “No, Kat, I’ve been thinking about you a lot. I don’t know what is going on with you, with us…” He pauses. “But I can’t lose you.”

His hand holds tight to my cheek, and I try to gently pull away. “I was never yours to lose.” The words are as painful coming off my tongue as they are for him to hear.

He closes his eyes tightly and shakes his head. “No. I need you. I told you that. I need you, any way I can get you.” He opens his eyes and stares through my soul. Full lips so close to mine. I remind myself I can’t lose myself in him again. His words are surprising. I thought he’d be disgusted by me. I thought he’d need me gone. Instead, he’s asking for me any way he can get me.

I step away from his hold and back up a few feet. “I can’t. I’m sorry.”

“You can’t quit. I have you under contract.”

Two more weeks of this? It will be difficult to look at him every day. It will be too much to look at Erik, Malory, and Heather. I can’t bear the rumors.

He won’t let me walk through the door, so I round him and make my way toward the bar. I grab a glass and the first bottle I see. As long as it’s strong, I don’t care what it is.

Asher watches as I hastily make my drink. His hands in his pockets, he is back to being the one in control. “I’ll let you resign as of today, under one condition.”

Stopping mid-pour, my head shoots up in curiosity.

“Come to the gala as my date. You worked so hard on it and a lot of our contacts are expecting to see your face. The organization needs you.”

I take a large swig and let his words set in. He knows where my soft spot is. I should go to the gala. I forgot how my absence would affect the organization.

“Yes. I will be there.” I can do that.

Asher’s face lights up and he looks relieved for the first time since we were on the beach in Miami. Maybe we can make this work.

“You’ll definitely be there?” He looks at me for confirmation.

“Yes.” I reassure him. “Yes. I will be there.” I’ve already dug my grave. Might as well lie in it. “May I use your restroom?”

He laughs at my simple request, relieved I’m no longer running for the door. “It’s behind you to the left,” he directs.

I take a final swig from my glass and set it down on the bar. In the restroom, I take a second to evaluate myself in the mirror. Yes, she’s still there. Loose hair, T-shirt, jeans, and Converse. Adulteress and mother, but still me.

I know there is no world where Gabriel and Asher can cohabitate, but for one more night, I can do the right thing. Even if that means attending a gala where he will be.

I splash some water on my face and look for a towel to dry with. There isn’t one on the counter. I open a drawer under the sink. Nothing. I try the next and there is one.

Hang on a second.

I go back to the first drawer and open it again. How did that get here?

I put my hand into the drawer and pull out the exact pair of black women’s underwear that have been causing me to lose sleep.

What the fuck? Either this is a very popular brand of women’s undergarments, or there is something completely fucked up about this situation.

I exit the restroom with the panties hanging from my index finger. Asher is still standing by the bar. He turns from looking at the television and his smile disappears.