Page 3 of Bastard Bartender

“And I’m Marie,” she interjects. “Who is your friend?” She motions to the quiet guy behind Shawn.

“Derek,” the friend says. “Are you ladies here with anyone tonight?”

Derek won’t work either.

Marie and I give each other a knowing expression, and in unison, we say, “We’re waiting for someone.”

The men look back at us quizzically, which makes me giggle.

Marie explains, “Sorry, we’re just killing time. Evette has a gentleman on his way.”

“It was very nice meeting you,” I add. “Hopefully, we’ll run into you again. Perhaps in, say, two weeks?”

“Or if all goes well, you won’t be on the prowl then,” Marie says, and I shrug at her wishful thinking that this experiment of mine will end successfully.

Nic brings the guys their drinks, and Shawn places a ten on the bar. As Shawn lifts the beers, he stops like he wants to ask a question, but I turn my head, acting like I see who I’m waiting for walking in. Thankfully, Shawn and Derek head toward the middle of the room, and Nic is still standing here, by the service well, with a raised brow and a smirk.

I lift my drink to him and cheers before taking a sip as he returns back to his work. There’s a characteristic alertness to him as his activity enlivens his whole body. I suppose that’s to be expected from a bartender who is mixing and shaking the night away in such a lively environment.

Marie and I spend the next fifteen minutes or so talking about our jobs while scanning the scene around us and seeing if anyone here has potential.

A tall guy enters the room, quickly piquing my interest. Marie nudges my arm while raising her eyebrows to the front door. I nod my approval as I lean back against the bar and take a sip, checking him out from afar.

Marie does the same, gently biting on her thumbnail as she asks, “Do you ever look at a guy and wonder how he fucks?”

I almost spit out my drink in laughter. “Did you seriously just ask that?”

She playfully slaps my arm. “Yes, I totally did. I think it all the time. I wonder if they like to do it hard and quick or if they hold you tight. Then, I wonder what they’d be like with their arms strained as they tower over you.”

“You have quite the imagination.”

“It’s a gift really. Sometimes, my mind goes wild with daydreams; it’s like I’ve had fifty affairs. You know, I think that’s why my relationship works so well.”

“Because your infidelity is contained to your crazy brain?”

“Exactly!” she states with a point. “Last night, when Sammy was at work, I got it on with BTS.”

“The K-pop group? Aren’t there, like, five of them?” I lift my glass to my lips and swallow the last of it.

“Seven, but Jungkook is my favorite.”

“I thought he was a teenager.”

“He’s in his twenties—totally legal and totally appropriate to mind-bang.”

I nearly spit out my drink with my need to laugh. I spin around and place my empty glass on the bar while swallowing without choking. “That’s what you’re going with?”

There’s a napkin holder on the bar top, so I grab one and wipe the dribble from my chin.

“It’s got a ring to it. Maybe I’ll have a T-shirt made up. Mind-Bang Mistress.” Her arms splay in the air, as if she were showing off the spectacular imaginary title.

If there’s one thing I adore about Marie, it’s her witty personality and active imagination. In short, she’s a loose cannon, a wild child.

“Don’t stop at T-shirts. There are bumper stickers, mugs—”

“You know you want to mind-bang the hot-as-fuck bartender behind us. He is definitely going to be saved for the spank bank.”

“Marie Elena Davis, that is so crude!” I admonish with my eyes wide and a contained laugh. I glance behind us and am grateful he’s not within earshot to hear her. Especially because I add, “He is outstandingly beautiful.”