Page 30 of Blood Money

He paused with his hand on the doorknob. What she’d agreed to do was too dangerous. “You don’t have to do this.”

“Yes, I do.” As she glared at him from across the room, Gray felt her eyes burning into his soul. “But you could never understand that. You aren’t capable of it. You only see things in black and white. Your name might be Gray, but for you there is no gray area, no middle ground. You can’t take human factors into consideration because that’s not your way. To you, it’s dangerous, so I shouldn’t do it. To me, it’s dangerous, but I have to do it.”

She rounded the coffee table and came toward him. “Leaving Nicky without a mother is unacceptable, so I have to do everything possible to stay out of jail. With Nicky’s illness, no one would take him in if I were gone, so for his sake I have to try.”

Gray gripped the knob tighter, about to pull the door open. “You should have asked me to borrow money,” he said with his back to her. “I would have given you anything.” And he meant it. In so many ways.

“I’ve been taking care of myself and Nicky just fine. I didn’t ask for a bunch of hired killers to bribe me.”

Gray released the doorknob, rounding on her. “Maybe,” he said with a note of anger in his voice, “you’ve been on your own so long that you can’t see there are people—me—who would gladly have helped you.”

“And maybe you need to be more trusting.” She walked to the door and glared up at him. “I didn’t use you. What I felt for you—or was beginning to feel—was real. No one could possibly pay me to feel something for a man.” She jabbed a finger at his chest. “You need to trust me.”

“Sometimes things happen in a person’s past that make that impossible.” As he said the words, that familiar weight sat on his chest and he recalled exactly what those things were.

“Like what?” Alex canted her head and gazed intently into his eyes, almost as if she were daring him.

“Not worth discussing.” And he so didn’t want to get into it. Not here. Not now. Probably never.

“Try me.”

Gray opened his mouth, then closed it. He turned and gripped the knob again but didn’t open the door. There was truth to what she said, and right now that truth was stabbing him in the gut—and in the heart. I’m sorry I can’t open up to you. “I’m sorry I can’t change your mind,” he said instead.

“At least I found out exactly who and what you are before anything more happened between us.” Alex’s eyes glittered like shards of blue steel. “It took me nearly a year to feel that you were someone worth letting into my life, but I can’t be with someone who doesn’t believe me and can never believe in me.”

Gray squeezed the knob tighter. I want to believe you, I really do.

“Without anyone on my side…” Alex stared at the ceiling and took a deep breath. “The only shot I have at squeezing through this mess without incarceration is going through with the meeting.”

She brushed past him, opened the apartment door herself, then stood aside. “I assume you said what you came here for. Now leave.”

“There’s one more thing.” He paused on the threshold, anger and regret coursing through him at what he had to say next. “Don’t even think of running.” He stepped out of the apartment, and the door closed quietly behind him. When the deadbolt turned, echoing in the silent hallway, he couldn’t help but feel he’d just been locked out of what should have been the best part of his life.

Chapter Eight

Gray sat in the squad’s conference room, tapping his fingers on a notepad. He glanced at his wristwatch. Eight fifteen. Alex was late for the most important meeting of her life.

Damn, doesn’t the woman know her life and Nicky’s depends on her cooperation? Her total cooperation?

Which included showing up for briefings on time.

Lt. Frye exhaled an impatient breath. Dom and FBI Agents Wilson and Tanner, along with HSI Agent Greer, busied themselves re-testing the digital recorder and other surveillance equipment Gray had signed out for this operation.

He yanked his phone from his belt, about to ring Alex’s cell phone, when she walked into the room and closed the door behind her. Wearing a snug black skirt suit and a strand of tiny pearls around her neck with matching earrings, she looked more like an attorney than an NYPD cooperator on the verge of being charged with multiple felonies. At least she wasn’t wearing the same robe she’d had on last night.

Holy hell, that little scrap of material had barely covered her shapely thighs, and he could practically see right through it. The way the robe clung to her damp skin made it clear she didn’t have anything on underneath. The entire time at her apartment he kept imagining what the rest of her body looked like under that robe.

The detective in him had wanted to park her butt on a chair and interrogate her until he had the answers he needed—mainly whether or not she’d been using him. The man in him wanted to walk up to her, untie that pretty little silk garment, and watch it slip to the floor so he could see her sleek, naked body. Touch her warm, soft skin.

As she walked gracefully to the table, her high heels made distinct clicking sounds on the wood floor. She had an unexpected air of self-assurance that instantly put Gray on edge. This wasn’t the typical attitude for an NYPD cooperator. Most of them were understandably antsy.

When Alex sat directly across the table from Gray, he realized her choice of attire was no accident. The woman was smart, and she wanted them all to know she meant business. That, combined with what he’d learned about her last night—including her genius IQ—made him suspicious they were all about to get played.

“Glad you could join us.” Lt. Frye’s tone held an undercurrent of annoyance.

“I’m sorry I’m late.” Alex laced her fingers together on the table. “Perhaps we should get started.”

Agent Wilson snorted, while his partner held back a smile. Dom, likewise, sent Gray an inquisitive look. This self-assured woman sitting across from him was not what any of them expected.