Page 71 of Honor ’N’ Duty

“Is it true?” It couldn’t be. Kade would never have arrested his own brother. Would he?

That would make him partly responsible. For everything.

Please, no.

Her heart pounded faster than she thought possible. “Answer me!”

His chest expanded, and just when she thought he’d deny it, she saw the truth in his eyes.

“Yes,” he confirmed in a low voice. “I arrested Josh.”

Chapter Twenty-Two

Kade hadn’t wanted Laia to find out—ever—if he could help it. Then again, if there was any chance of them winding up together, their relationship couldn’t be based on secrets or lies. Sooner or later, the crap would have flowed over the bowl, but he hadn’t wanted it to go down this way.

“Laia, I—” What? What could he really say? Sorry didn’t come remotely close to cutting it.

Wordlessly, she glared up at him with her chest heaving and her hands clenched into tight fists.

Regret and self-loathing pounded him from all sides. The pain etched in her features was his doing, not his brother’s. He’d made a serious tactical error, and now he’d never have the chance to tell her the truth in his own way and at a time of his own choosing. The only question now was how bad the fallout would be.

Kade set the mugs of coffee on a table in the corridor and held his hand out. “Let’s talk about this in private.” Before every agent in the office got a ringside seat to Kade’s guts getting splayed out on the floor.

She looked at his hand but didn’t take it. “Fine.”

Without needing to be told, Smoke followed them down the corridor until Kade found an empty office with a door that he could close. A desk took up most of the office, along with two small upholstered armchairs.

Laia’s complexion had paled considerably. He indicated she should sit. When she didn’t, he thought she might clock him in the kisser with one of her clenched fists. He’d deserve it. And so much more.

“How could you?” Her words had come out through clenched teeth. “Josh died in prison because you put him there. He wouldn’t have been there in the first place if you hadn’t arrested him!”

“Laia—”

She lifted her hand. “I’m not done! Rosa didn’t deserve to have her father die. And my marriage might have been in shambles by then, but Rosa and I didn’t deserve to have our lives turned upside down. Neither of us deserves to be on the run, but we are because my husband was arrested—and murdered—before Colon could get his filthy hands on that goddamn ledger. You did that.”

She was killing him. But everything she’d just thrown in his face was true. Balls-on accurate.

Laia’s chest heaved and her knuckles had turned white from fisting her hands harder. Seeing her pain, her rage, and her suffering…he wished he could absorb it from her body and take it into his own.

What he’d done to Josh that day had set something in motion that he’d always known would come back to haunt him. Hell, it already had. For two years, he’d been drowning in guilt. That was the real reason he’d stayed away, not because he’d secretly lusted after his sister-in-law. In his own way, he was just as guilty as Josh had been.

Finally, she sat, her shoulders slumping. Smoke whimpered, then circled three times and lay down on the floor at her feet.

“Why?” she asked, looking up at him with shimmering eyes. “Why did you do it?”

He shoved his hands in his pockets and paced a full circuit of the tiny office before leaning back against the edge of the desk. How to begin? He honestly didn’t know.

Finding the right tactical approach had always come as easily and naturally to him as breathing. Knowing the appropriate thing to say to the men he’d served with had never been an issue. Right now, he couldn’t put together a single coherent sentence, and his tongue felt like rubber. But there was no putting this off any longer.

He cleared his throat and dove in. “I was requested to participate in the raid at the Colon compound,” he began. “There had to be fifty agents and cops there that day. We went in on initial entry to help clear the main building and subdue anyone who tried to run. We had arrest warrants for some and were told to cuff anyone else and hold them until they were identified and questioned. As soon as the main building was cleared, we went outside to assist with the outbuildings.”

Unable to look into Laia’s face, Kade stared at Smoke, recalling with vivid clarity every single godforsaken thing that had happened next.

“Tango, my K-9 at the time, led me to an outbuilding, one of the cabanas by the swimming pool. I opened the door and—”

He swallowed. What he was about to say would hurt Laia all over again, and that was the last thing he wanted to do.

“Tell me,” she whispered, as if inherently knowing what he’d been about to describe would be ugly and hurtful.