Page 82 of Safe Word

I clenched the phone so hard it creaked, bile rising in my throat. I remembered that day all too well. He had been with someone. Me – for fifteen agonising minutes. Just long enough for his hands to bruise me as he flung around a so-called betrayal – because I’d said I was leaving him.

I’d reported him after that, driven by fear and defiance, hoping the system would finally catch up to him. But it hadn’t. Not then, and not now.

Matteo’s voice cut through my spiral. ‘The domestic violence charge? He paid bail. He’s out, Birdie. He’s walking free.’

The dread ringing in my ears grew louder, a relentless hum that drowned out everything else. My skin felt cold, my limbs heavy. Suddenly, last night clicked into focus – the lingering sense that someone had been watching me.

Oh God, I thought. Did he see me with Ghost last night? Is he following me to work?

I rubbed my palms over my thighs and started the damn breathing exercises every therapist had ever recommended.

‘Birdie,’ Matteo said, his tone more urgent now. ‘You need to come home. Come here. Me and the boys, we’ll protect you.’ I heard a few gruff approvals in the background. They were all listening to the conversation.

‘Matteo, I can’t,’ I whispered, my voice cracking. ‘You know I can’t.’

‘Why the fuck not?’ he snapped, his frustration boiling over.

‘Because the government didn’t protect me. The cops didn’t protect me. The system is fucking flawed! I can’t go back where he can find me and do it all over again! Even make it worse.’ The last part came out on a breath; a heart-wrenching truth that was as real as the tears now welling in my eyes.

‘We’re here! You need your family now—’

‘I need to protect myself,’ I cut in, harsher than I meant to. ‘I won’t drag you into this. You didn’t make the mistake – I did.’

I softened my tone, swallowing the guilt. ‘Look, I know you guys love me. I know you want to protect me. But it has to stop somewhere. Travis… This thing. I’m hoping that when he doesn’t find me, he’ll let it go. Maybe even move on. Fixate on someone else.’

There was a beat of loaded silence on the other end. My eyes darted ahead of the car just as I turned the engine on. Human psyche was a damned thing – because now I could suddenly see him everywhere. He was behind a pillar, at the exit, a part of his jacket fluttering around the corner.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…

‘So, what’s your plan, huh?’ Matteo demanded, his anger tinged with worry – and helplessness. My heart bled for him. Because I knew what it was doing to him – the fact that he wasn’t able to protect me. He hadn’t been able to save our father either. It had nearly destroyed him. And he was powerless now, too. But this was my life. I had to hold the reins to it.

‘What are you going to do?’

I stared at the floor, my mind racing. Travis had always been two steps ahead, a predator who thrived on control and manipulation. The only way to stop him was to be smarter, faster – to find a way to protect myself that didn’t rely on a broken system or anyone else.

‘I’ll figure it out,’ I said quietly, though the words felt hollow.

‘Birdie,’ Matteo muttered, a dark decision pulsing in the notes. ‘The boys and I… we’re trying to find him. And when we do—’

‘Don’t,’ I cut him off, my voice firmer now. ‘You are not.’

More silence. Then, reluctantly, he said, ‘If you feel the tiniest bit left-field… Or if you need anything at all – anything – you call me. Got it?’

‘Yes, sir,’ I said softly.

My former Marine brother was not going to let this go. I was sure of it. I wouldn’t be surprised if he moved here just to keep an eye on me.

He rattled off about Mum being the same old, doing well, and nagging about grandchildren – or the lack thereof – like a proper Italian woman of her age who eagerly expected one of us to make a Nonna out of her. And the call went dead.

I sat there for a long moment, the phone still clutched in my hand. The dread had settled deep in my bones – but beneath it, something else flared. Determination.

I wasn’t the same woman Travis had controlled all those years ago. I wouldn’t be his victim again.

I glanced at the mirror. Then pushed back the sleeve over my wrist and focused on it. The sparrow stared back at me – Dad’s smile. Freedom. Flight.

The system wouldn’t be able to save me, so I would find another way.

No matter what it fucking took.