Years may have passed, but Lawton Ridge is a time capsule. I take in the cool breeze and breathe in the fresh air. Before my life drastically changed, this was the last place I expected to be long-term because it was so boring. But now I realized how much I took that for granted because I can’t imagine ever leaving again.
The woman who owns the shop greets me with a smile. I lean over the glass case and look at everything. Food like this wasn't available in prison, so I feel like a king as I choose a dozen different cake donuts. If I remember correctly, Gemma's favorite is the blueberry, so I get an extra six of those.
After I pay and grab the box, I notice a woman and man staring at me. Another couple whispers, but they look away when I make eye contact. I don't have to hear what they're saying to know they're talking about me. I wish the gossip didn’t run rampant because it makes starting over even harder.
My blood pressure rises and my face heats, so I get the hell out of there as quickly as I can. It felt like the walls were caving in on me.
I try to shake it off as I walk the few blocks back to the gym. Since I’ve been back, I’ve tried to ignore the way people have acted around me, but I can’t seem to let it go today. A man wearing a dark hoodie walks down the sidewalk and meets my eyes. He glares with intent right before his shoulder slams hard into my body. He mutters murderer as he passes. I stare at the back of his head as he keeps walking.
My heart pounds, and I swallow hard. Though he’s taller than me, I'm five seconds from beating his ass. Instead, I inhale a deep breath and continue toward the gym. I don't need trouble finding me right now.
If that would’ve happened ten years ago, I probably wouldn’t have walked away. Prison changed me, and now I'm a different man who has a lot more to lose.
Was he a friend of Gabe’s?
I walk inside with a fake smile plastered on my face even though shit like this eats away at my conscience. As I cross the large open room, I try not to smash the cardboard with the force of my grip.
“I brought donuts for everyone. Where's Gemma?” I glance around but don’t see her.
Tyler studies me before meeting my eyes. “She'll be here any minute.”
He continues staring, and I forgot he’s even more observant than my sister. “Everything okay?”
“Honestly, no.” After I get my thoughts together, I explain what happened at the bakery and with the guy on the street. “It makes me feel awkward in social situations. Like this town would be better off if I weren’t here.”
Tyler shakes his head and places his strong grip on my shoulder. “You know, when I returned, people whispered about me in the grocery store and everywhere else they’d see me. They'd call me a convict under their breaths. I didn't think I’d even be able to find work with my past. Thankfully, your dad took a chance and hired me. Otherwise, I don’t know what I would’ve done.”
He smiles, then continues, “After a while, they got over it. People stopped talking shit and moved on to the next big thing because you know it’s something different every week. The same will happen for you too. They'll get over it. Or I’ll kick their asses.”
I chuckle, but my blood starts pumping again as I think about all the unfairness he experienced.
“You didn't murder a family member. Or your best friend’s husband. Or a man who was about to be a father.” I sigh, brushing a hand through my hair because those aren’t easy things to admit aloud. “Our situations aren’t the same, Tyler. I know why you’re saying that and being encouraging, but I’m not convinced it’ll ever get easier for me. You were helping a friend and got framed. Every single day I sat behind bars, I knew I was paying for the consequences of my actions and wishing I could take it all back. I never wanted my cousin to die. I didn't want Katie's husband not to be there for her or their son. I stole that from them. Everyone in town knows it too.”
“It was an accident,” Tyler stresses. “Bad things happen to good people.”
“It doesn’t take away the fact that my aunt and uncle lost their only child and refuse to talk to my dad. You and Gemma won’t have them in your baby’s life because of me. People treat me like I'll break into their houses and kill their family. It makes me wanna pack up my shit and start over where no one knows who I am.”
Tyler looks at me with pity—which I hate—but I just laid a bunch of shit on him.
I take a bite of a donut as Tyler processes my words. “I understand where you're coming from, Noah, but leaving won’t fix you. The burden is carried inside wherever you go. You’ll still have to work through that. Being out of prison takes some getting used to, but you’ll eventually adjust. Things would be different if you went down to that bar that night with the intent to kill him. You just wanted him to go home to his pregnant wife. I know you’d take it back if you could, but you can't, so you need to work through that guilt. You deserve good things to happen to you, and you can't let people who whisper about you ruin it. You're a good son. A good brother. A good person. And not one damn person in this town will convince me otherwise. Not even you. The next few months will be the hardest, but I’m here for you, man. I promise you that.”
I get emotional thinking about how I’d get through this without him. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but I hadn’t really known what to expect.
Just as Tyler and I finish our conversation, Gemma arrives. She spots the box of goodies and makes a beeline toward the counter with a smile on her face.
She peeks inside. “Who's responsible for my sugar rush today?”
Tyler holds up his hands. “It wasn't me.”
Gemma grabs a chocolate-filled one. “Thanks, bro. You know exactly what I like.”
I look at the donut, then back at her. “I thought you liked the blueberry ones.”
“Oh, I love all donuts. I’m not picky!” She nearly devours it in three big bites, then goes for another.
When I laugh, she glares.
“Hey, I'm eating for two here.” She points at her little bump.