Page 30 of The Haunting Plot

“So he’s going to picture my boobs covered in crackers for the rest of his life? Great.”

“This is fixable. We can help.”

Bella bounces in her seat. “Ooh, are we talking makeovers? Avery’s gotten into these makeup tutorials, and I have so many things I want to try on you.”

I groan. “We’re not doing makeovers. I want to get through this renovation, get him out of my house, and get on with my life.”

“Are you sure about that?” Bella asks knowingly.

“No. I’m not sure about anything anymore since he showed up on my porch.”

They squeal beside me.

“But I don’t have time for this. I have⁠—”

“Deadlines,” Summer finishes for me. “We know.”

“Why are you fighting this? I think he would be good for you. Balance out your dark energy with a little light. You and the kids could use a little light in your lives after the past couple years. And I’ve never seen you date anyone.”

“I was married for most of the time you knew me. And then I was grieving after.”

“True, but I think you deserve someone who wants to wine and dine you and then fu—” Her eyes dart to Summer, and they have a silent conversation. “Someone who wants to bang you against a wall. You deserve it all.”

“I agree with Bella. You deserve to be loved like that. And humped like that,” Summer says as Bella squeals, shimmying her shoulders as Summer groans. “I take it back. Please don’t, Bella.”

“Don’t what?” I ask, looking between them.

“I know exactly what you need to do.” Bella pauses. It’s likely for dramatic effect, but I get annoyed the longer she hesitates. Summer shakes her head in frustration.

Lucy hustles back over. “Sorry about that. I swear that kid will pee on anything anywhere.”

“You need to hump the hot firefighter!” Bella squeals in delight. Lucy giggles while Summer looks around to make sure no one heard.

“He’s more than a firefighter. He’s the fire chief,” I correct.

“Yeah, but hump the hot fire chief doesn’t have the same ring to it.”

“Bella, you’re ridiculous.”

“But you love me.”

“What on earth did I miss while dealing with the peeing bandit?” Lucy asks.

“Raven flashed her party tits at the chief, she had a cracker on her nipple, I told her to hump him,” Bella says.

It’s an effort not to roll my eyes. “There’s more. He played a prank on me.”

“That has RJ written all over it.” Summer narrows her eyes.

“Yup. It’s one RJ tried to pull on me when we were kids. It didn’t work for him then, and it didn’t work for Sawyer now.”

“What are you gonna do?”

“I’m going to fight fire with fire.”

——————

When Sawyer walks in on Monday, I’m ready for him. The kids are in school. I’ve turned the thermostat up, making the upstairs a sweltering hot box in the unrelenting September sun.