Page 36 of The Haunting Plot

Bella: Aww, I love that! Way to make it a teachable moment!

Me: Now I need to figure out how to talk to McKenna about periods. She’s always been a little more guarded about that kind of talk. And before you suggest it, Bella, I don’t need a cookie for that.

Bella: What about a muffin?

Summer: I can help with the period talk. I’ve already had one with Lana, and Sophie was a huge help too.

Bella: No, I know…a CUPCAKE!

Summer: Why a cupcake?

Bella: I can decorate the top to look like a vagina! Or is it a vulva?

Me: The vulva is the outside part; the vagina is the inside.

Bella: Then I can use a pearl sprinkle for the clit! And little brown ones for hair. I could make it look so realistic!

Me: You aren’t giving my daughter a clit cake.

Bella: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Lucy: That’s actually the perfect name for them.

Bella: Raven, you’re a genius!

Me: I’m not trying to name your perverted pastries. How did we get here? I fear we’ve lost the plot.

Lucy: We were talking about snacks for the PTO meeting. Bella suggested cookies, which turned into a discussion on cockies and how you used them for the birds and the bees talk, and then Bella suggested making something for McKenna’s puberty talk.

Summer: The kids throw period parties now. They make a whole thing out of it. Everyone wears red, and they invite some unsuspecting boys and don’t tell them what it is. Sophie told me about it.

Me: Okay, I fucking love that.

Bella: So that’s a no on the clit cakes?

Me: Hell no.

Bella: So Jonah gets a themed treat with his puberty talk, and McKenna gets nothing? Where’s all your “fuck the patriarchy” energy?

Me: Oh, it’s here. It’s just not McKenna’s thing. She doesn’t like people to make a fuss about her. It’s probably because she’s so used to always taking a back seat to Jonah’s issues.

Summer: Then we should absolutely make it a big deal! Maybe not with clit cakes, but we could still have cupcakes. It’s hard having a sibling with special needs. Lana and Lucas go through it with Logan’s T1D and egg allergy.

Me: She’s also friends with Sawyer’s daughter, Jane. And Jane’s little brother has ADHD. Seems like she has a few friends that understand her struggle.

Lucy: Aww, I love that. Build that girl gang early. I don’t know what I would’ve done without all of you!

Summer: OMG I forgot Sawyer is Jane’s dad! I’ve always dealt with her mom, Jocelyn, and she’s… a character.

Me: Not to derail this train, but I might be regretting my prank on Sawyer.

Summer: You went through with it?

Me: I did, and he got pee on his pants. He’s now working in his boxers while his pants are washing.

Bella: Do you need ideas for more pranks?

Me: No. I need to focus on work, getting this house fixed up, and then decide what to do with it once we can move back into the other one. Also, Jonah’s IEP meeting is coming up. It’s almost the anniversary of Kris’s death. And I need to figure out what we’re doing for McKenna’s birthday party.