Page 89 of Good Vampires Go to Heaven

“There has to be mayhem inside, then,” Harek concluded, “which is to our advantage.”

“The majority of the fighting will take place outside, hopefully. But many of us will have to go inside as well. And the hardest part will be our entries. Once inside, we should be evenly matched. Quality versus quantity. Tanks versus BB guns. Horses versus puppies. Sheep versus wolves.” Cnut should stop while he was ahead, with all these foolish metaphors.

“I wish we could just detonate the whole shebang.” Trond had become quite the explosives expert since he became a Navy SEAL, but despite his enthusiasm for big noises, even he knew that would not work in this case. “Yes, yes, I know, we have to protect those vangel captives inside.” Fifty-two of them had been taken in the past few days, and everyone was concerned about their condition.

“Afterward, assuming we are successful in this venture, you can blow the castle to dust, Trond,” Vikar said. “Remember, you can’t rely on teletransport to save your asses today. Teletransport has been cut off in the immediate vicinity, for us and for the Lucies. In that respect, at least, there’s an even playing field.”

“Warriors do not play, they fight,” Mordr corrected.

“Whatever!” Vikar replied to his usually dour brother.

“Another reason why we can’t bomb the hell out of Horror . . . actually, two reasons,” Vikar told them. “One, we don’t want to draw attention to our presence here, especially before we get the job done. And, second, we need to pierce each of these Lucies through their slimy hearts. Bombs don’t necessarily do that. Without those chest blows, they’ll just come back again as Lucies in a day or so.”

“That’s not true of the regular demons that Satan sent here, by the way,” Zeb was quick to add. “Kill them any way you want, and they’ll be off to their fiery lairs.”

“How will we know the difference between the Lucies and regular demons?” someone in the back asked.

“Believe me, you’ll know,” Zeb said. “Think red skin, red eyes, forked tongues à la Gene Simmons, razor-sharp claws, long, pointed tails. Some, not all, have hooves and horns.”

“How attractive!” Regina commented.

Zeb shrugged. “In humanoid form, they can be very attractive, even beautiful. In fact, last time I saw Lucifer, he looked a lot like you, sweetheart.”

Zeb couldn’t believe that he’d used that endearment for her, especially in a room full of Vikings. He could tell that she couldn’t believe it either. He was in for it!

“Holy shit!” someone muttered.

“I’d like to see that,” someone else muttered.

“I always thought she had a bit of the devil in her,” still another vangel muttered.

“That’s neither here nor there,” Vikar said, clearly fighting a grin.

Regina elbowed Zeb. “Fool!” she muttered.

Zeb couldn’t help but grin, too. “Sor-ry!” He winked at her, to make up for his slip.

Not even close, her scowl told him.

Vikar turned his attention to Harek then. “That geek Lucie still has a force field around the castle that prevents teletransport in or out of the castle proper. You’re a geek, Harek. Can’t you remove it?”

“I’m not that kind of geek,” Harek said, indignant that Vikar would think he could do such a thing, from this distance. Vikar was pushy that way.

Vikar shrugged.

But then Harek conceded, “Once I’m inside the castle, I’ll find the electronics guru from Hell, or his equipment, and disengage the barrier. That, I guarantee.”

“Good,” Vikar said.

“Just give me time,” Harek griped.

“Time is our enemy,” Vikar quipped.

Harek, and several others, rolled their eyes. Zeb hadn’t been a vangel for long, but even he recognized that when Vikar started with the proverbs, it was never just one.

“Enter, engage, and run the hell home.”

More eye rolling.