Page 68 of Life, Love and the Pursuit of Happiness

Could she possibly mean Elmer Judd, the former veterinarian? He’s about five-foot-five and seventy years old. Whew! For a moment there I thought I might have competition, some new boarder who looked like Bruce Willis or David Beckham.

“When were you at Miss Mildred’s house?”

“Yesterday. Gramma is teachin’ them how ta be showgirls . . . and guys. One man fell on his bum on a high kick, but he was laughin’ so hard I doan think he was real hurt. They dint call an am-boo-lance or nothin’.”

“Oh, Lord!” Delilah said on a groan. “What are you doing while Gram and the others are dancing?”

“Sellin’ Avon on a TV stand on the front porch. I made thirty-seven dollars. Is that enough for you ta stop workin’?”

“No, sweetie, that’s not enough,” she said, swiping at her eyes with a forearm. In an undertone, she whispered, “I’m gonna kill the old lady. I really am.” Speaking aloud again, she added, “And you shouldn’t be working, either.”

“I only did it for a little while. Tonight I’m gonna be a waitress at the poker torn-men.”

“The what?”

“Shhh! It’s a secret. Gramma is gonna hold a poker torn-men right here on the patio. She even rented some card tables and folding chairs. And Mister Raw-ool . . . that’s Ms. Mildred’s boyfriend . . . is gonna fire up the grill fer a parr-ill-ada. That’s a Spanish barbecue. We’re having beef ka-bobbies and shrimp tapas.”

“Where’s . . . your . . . grandmother?” Delilah gritted out. “I want to talk to her right now.”

“Gram-ma!” Maggie yelled so loud that Delilah had to lean away from the phone. After a pause, she told Delilah, “Gramma says ta call back later. She’s laying outside in her bikini gettin’ a suntan, and she doesn’t wanna be half-baked.”

Delilah made a growling sound, and just then noticed Merrill standing at the bottom of the steps. “Listen, Maggie. I need to go. Tell Gram I’ll be calling her in an hour, and she better be there. Love you bunches.”

“Love you more bunches,” Maggie chirped, and the line went dead.

Slowly, Delilah turned more fully to look at him. “You heard all that?”

“Yep.”

She sighed. “I’m worried. My grandmother is a wacko.”

“Don’t be worried. She’s no more wacko than the rest of that town. And no one’s gonna let anything bad happen. They take care of each other.”

“If you say so,” she answered, dubiously. “So, what’s up? You were looking for me?”

“Yeah. We’re about to start the new experiment. With the metal detector. Thought you might like to watch.”

She nodded and set the bowl aside, placing a towel over the top for the dough to rise. While she washed her hands, she remarked over her shoulder, “I thought metal detectors were for old fogeys working the touristy beaches.”

“This is much more high-tech.”

“And expensive,” she guessed.

He shrugged.

“Men and their toys! How expensive?”

“Nine thousand.”

“Whaat!”

She was probably thinking that she could buy all new furnishings for the motel or high-end appliances for the diner with that amount of money. He stepped forward and embraced her from behind at the sink, kissing her neck. She allowed him to hold her for just a moment, even turned and kissed him, quickly, before shoving him away.

Although everyone on the ship probably suspected something was going on between him and Delilah these past five days they’d been back on-site, the two of them—well, mainly Delilah—had agreed to keep their relationship private. Hands off in public, which meant almost all the time aboard a crowded ship. Not an easy task for him. Not just the “no sex.” Now that he’d had her, he wanted her. All the time. But even not being able to touch, or kiss, was difficult. He found himself catching her at the odd moment, like now. Which was not nearly enough.

“What are you making?” he asked, pointing at the covered bowl.

“Pizza,” she said.