Page 143 of The Outlaw Viking

“Because the mistress begged him not to tell you.”

Selik felt a huge lump forming in his throat, and his heart beat so fast he could barely breathe. “Why? Why did she convince the king to keep this information from me?” he asked, still disbelieving.

“Because she said ye would blame yerself fer not protectin’ her, just as ye wasted so many years blamin’ yerself fer Astrid’s and Thorkel’s deaths.”

Selik exhaled loudly, as if he had been kicked in the stomach. Not protecting her. Selik repeated Ubbi’s words silently. A loud buzzing roared in his ears and he braced himself. He feared what he would hear next, but he had to know. “Tell me all of it.”

For an hour, Ubbi talked, sparing him no details, not of the degradations Steven had subjected Rain to, nor the condition of her body once Athelstan and Elgiva found her finally.

“Why did she not scream for help?” Selik asked finally. “The castle is not that large.”

Ubbi just stared at him.

“To protect me?” he asked in horror.

Ubbi shook his head in disgust, no doubt thinking Selik’s self-recriminations would be punishment enough for his lack of faith in the woman he loved.

Ubbi was right.

Selik banged his bruised fists, then his head, against the timber walls of the barn. How could he have been so blind? How could he have been so cruel?

Because you’re human.

Selik stormed out of the barn and turned his horse for Jorvik. He had to talk to Rain immediately.

Gyda’s house was dark and silent when he arrived, everyone already having retired for the evening. He waved aside a guard who recognized him and entered without knocking. Weaving his way through the dark in the familiar household, he made his way toward the upper guest room.

Rain lay on the small pallet, awake and staring at the ceiling. Candlelight flickered over her golden features, and Selik stopped momentarily in the doorway, frozen by his rapidly beating heart and his love for this woman from the future.

Rain jerked upright when she noticed his presence. “What are you doing here, Selik?” she asked coldly.

“Forgive me,” he said softly, stepping into the room.

“Forgive you? I thought you were going to forgive me,” she remarked coldly, standing and moving to the other side of the room, away from him.

“I kn-know,” he choked out. “I know what Steven did to you, and I will never forgive myself for the things I said, for my lack of trust.”

“Oh, great! One more thing to add to your load of guilt! Do me a favor, Selik, just forget the whole thing. I’m the one who was harmed by Steven. Let it go.” Her shoulders slumped in defeat, and she looked up at him bleakly. In a choked voice, she added, “Let me go.”

“That I can never do, heartling. Never! Now that I have found you, I will never let you go.”

On those words, he turned and left Rain to her sleep. But sleep eluded her the rest of the night as she pondered all he’d told her, just now and earlier that day. Imagine, little Adam stowing away on a ship. And Selik adopting him. And what about Selik pledging himself to King Athelstan?

At least, she could go home knowing she’d accomplished some good in this mission back in time.

With a troubled mind, Rain doggedly headed toward Coppergate the next afternoon, having finally fallen into a troubled sleep and not awakening until late morning. She knew that if she put off her decision to go back to the future, she might never summon the courage again.

But an odd thing happened. She couldn’t find the Coppergate site. Day after day, for the past few weeks, she’d gone to the site, finding it with no trouble. But suddenly it had disappeared. Well, not exactly disappeared. Where the abandoned building had once stood was now an eight-foot-high timber fence patrolled by two armed guards.

No! He wouldn’t have. Would he?

Rain walked up to one man and said, “I need to go inside that fence.”

“Nay. ’Tis forbidden for anyone to enter.”

“Who says so?”

“The new owner.”