Page 97 of The Blue Viking

He soon caught up and walked side by side with her, in silence. It was not an uncomfortable silence. In truth, they both needed the solitude of their own thoughts to formulate what they would say to each other.

To Maire’s surprise, they had unconsciously walked to the judgment stone … that rocking boulder where she’d had such a memorable physical encounter with Rurik. She glanced at him. He glanced at her. And they both glanced away quickly, lest their true sentiments be revealed.

Giving the flat boulder a quick shove with his booted foot, he watched it rock back and forth, staring pensively. Was he thinking about placing her on the rock, and letting it judge her? Could the rock be any more unfair than his current assessment of her transgressions?

He walked away from the boulder then and leaned against a tree, legs crossed at the ankles—a lazy posture that was belied by the tense set of his jaw and the thin line of his pressed lips. He waited for her to speak.

“I’m sorry,” she said simply.

“You said that afore.”

“It needed saying again.”

“If you say so.”

“What are your plans?”

“For what?”

For me. For us, her heart cried out. But what she said was, “For Jamie.”

He shrugged.

“Are you happy about being a father?”

He didn’t answer immediately. When he did, she could tell that he was trying to hold some strong emotion in check. “Yea, I am happy to be father to Jamie. He’s a fine boy, despite… well, he’s a fine boy. But I am not happy to have lost five years of his life.”

“Oh, Rurik! How could it have been any different? Even if I’d informed you, I was married by then. I had never actually told Kenneth about how Jamie was conceived. Be honest. I was nothing to you. A bairn would have been an inconvenience.”

He shook his head. “I would have wanted to know. Even if I could not have taken an active part in his life, I had a right to know. I would have looked out for his welfare … even if only from afar.”

Maire could understand that sentiment. “What will you do now?”

“About what?”

Me? What about me? What about us? “Will you stay in the Highlands?”

“I cannot. I must go to the Hebrides to… well, suffice it to say, I have a … uh, job to do there.”

A lump the size of the rocking boulder formed in her throat. “You will allow yourself no time to become acquainted with your son?” she choked out.

“Mayhap … mayhap I could take him with me.”

Before his words were out, Maire cried, “No!”

“Not forever,” he offered in a voice that was soft and conciliatory. “Just for a short time.”

“No!” she repeated adamantly, then added quickly, “I could not leave Scotland with him, even for a short time.”

Rurik’s face pinkened with embarrassment.

Maire tilted her head in question, then realized her mistake. Rurik hadn’t invited her. Just his son.

“You are not taking my son from me,” she declared firmly. “Do not even think I would allow you to do that.”

“Not even if it’s for Jamie’s own good?”

“What good could there be in taking a child from his mother?”