Page 116 of Hot & Heavy

You must have driven the sultans mad with your nagging."

She reached over Sam and punched Ragnor on the arm. Sam hissed at him to back her up. Grinning, she said, "Nay. I drove them mad with my cock-wilting talents."

"Madrene!" her father chided her, but he was laughing like all the rest.

"You cannot say that and stop," her Uncle Geirolf said. "Explain yourself."

And she did, demonstrating the finger waggle and the "uhm-uhm" chant she'd perfected. They were all howling with laughter by the time she finished.

She turned to Ragnor. "Speaking of soft manparts, can I presume that you have regained your

'enthusiasm' for the bedsport?"

Ragnor's face turned red. "I never had trouble getting it hard," he tried to tell his hooting family members.

He would never live this down, thanks to her jibe. "I just did not want to." He looked at her then and said, "I will never forgive you for this."

She made a face at him.

"About the army business," her Uncle Jorund said, "even if you are able to raise the manpower, what makes you think you, let alone a small army, could travel back in time?"

Everyone grew silent.

"First, I never heard about this time-travel notion till today. Two, I am not sure I believe in it. Three, if a person can travel forward in time, there must be a way to travel back."

"Personally, I don't even try to explain time-travel, I just accept it," Torolf said.

"Now, me, I just believe it is a miracle," her father said. "My mind cannot wrap around any explanation for time-travel, but I do believe in miracles. God, or the gods, destined me to be here in this time and place."

They all nodded, except for Madrene, who was still skeptical.

"And what's this about a marriage?" Torolf, waggling his eyebrows at her, was back to teasing. "I cannot picture my sister, the shrew, hooking up with the lean mean Mac machine. A loathsome lout if I ever met one."

"Yeah, you always said you wouldn't marry again," Ragnor reminded her.

"I hardly had any say in the matter," she told them.

"And now? Would you have the marriage annulled?" her father inquired, his eyes studying her sharply.

She must have blushed, because her father said, "I see."

"Maaaa-dreeene! I am shocked," said Ragnor, who was anything but shocked. "It would seem you regained some enthusiasm, too."

"I did not know she ever had any. Not with that prick Karl." It was Torolf chiming in now.

She was not sure what a prick was, but she could pretty well guess, and, yea, it was a good description.

"What? You thought only those with dangly parts could have the sap rise? Well, let me tell you, women get lustsome on occasion, too. I have been watching Sex and the City, and women definitely can match men when it comes to lust. And, by the by, why is it that I had to come to another country… or time…

to learn about oral sex?"

"That will be enough," her father said. Everyone else was gaping at her. Ragnor put his face in his hand, and his body was shaking with laughter. Sometimes Madrene surprised even herself with her bluntness.

Her father coughed to compose himself. "The question then, daughter, is whether you wish for a divorce or to stay married to the loathsome lout."

"I want to remain married," she said without hesitation. The more important question is whether Ian will want me once he learns of the time-travel nonsense. Or whether he will want to be linked to my barmy family.

Her father tilted his head in question. "And why is that?"