Page 60 of A Momentary Marriage

Today, though, kissing her had seemed so good, so right, that it bypassed his mind altogether. Perhaps, he thought, it was because the kiss had come from something other than mere physical desire. He wasn’t accustomed to heat and hunger spreading through him from his chest rather than his groin. He wasn’t used to such a wash of emotion.

And he didn’t like it. The more he thought about it, the more he realized it was a distinctly uncomfortable feeling.

This strange turmoil inside him would change, surely, as he regained his health. His sickness had left him thin-skinned, his barriers lowered, too slow of thought to maintain his equilibrium. Soon he would be back to himself. But what was he to do right now?

His first thought—that damnable instinct again—was to find a way around those promises he’d made to Laura. He could try to woo Laura into his bed, convince her to change their agreement. Surely he was not incapable of charm if he set his mind to it.

But it made him uneasy to think of inveigling Laura into something she didn’t want. The last thing he wanted was to deceive Laura or set her against him. After all she had done for him, it would be reprehensible to try to escape his part of the bargain.

From the start Laura had made it clear she didn’t desire him—indeed, was repelled by him. Truth be known, it had stung to be told nothing would induce her to bed him, but it had been easy enough to agree to her conditions. It was a bitter irony that Laura’s excellent care had brought him back to life, making him ache to ignore those boundaries. By saving him she had condemned herself to a lifetime with him.

No. He would not indulge himself at her expense. He would stick to their bargain and he would make that clear to her. James sank into the chair beside the bed, suddenly swamped with weariness. Dem settled his head on James’s leg and watched him soulfully. James stroked the silky head, smoothing out the wrinkles in the way the dog particularly liked. What he must do was obvious. It was both foolish and unlike him to be reluctant.

When Laura returned to the room sometime later, James rose from his chair to face her. He found the words irrationally hard to get out, but he forced himself to say, “It’s time for me to move back into my room.”

chapter 25

“What?” Laura stared, her stomach tightening. It had taken her several minutes strolling through the garden to even out her nerves, and already James had destroyed her calm. “No! It’s not safe. I didn’t dispose of the mercury.”

“Then we must get rid of it. I cannot continue to hide in here.”

Laura swallowed the protest that rose in her throat. He was right, of course; their life must revert to a normal state at some point. No doubt James felt caged and uncomfortable here. It was absurd, really, to feel this stab of hurt. “Still, you must give the room time to air out.”

“In a few days then.” James was all business now, the dispassionate man she had known before.

“Very well. You intend to reveal that we found the mercury?” Laura was determined that she could be as matter-of-fact as he.

“I suppose I’ll have to.” He frowned. “Though I’d like to have some proof of who is responsible before I do anything.”

“What do you intend to do?” Laura asked.

“I don’t know.”

“It’s good to see you have a well-thought-out plan.”

A reluctant smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Clearly you’re going to force me to think.” He rubbed his forehead.

“Do you have a headache?” Laura took a step toward him. “Shall I massage your head again?”

James moved back a step. “No. Best not.” He began to pace. “I’ll go down to dinner tomorrow.” He held up a hand to forestall her. “I know you think I’m too weak. But so do they, and I want to surprise them. I need to judge their reactions.” Laura crossed her arms, jaw set stubbornly, and glared at him. He sighed. “Very well. I’ll wait two days.”

“I’ll agree to that.” Though James wasn’t even close to fully recovered, Laura had learned how far his will could take him. And she would be there to help him if he had trouble. “You intend to keep everyone uninformed about your progress until then?”

“If possible. I’ve either been asleep or pretended to be whenever anyone comes in. So all they know is that I haven’t died. You didn’t tell anyone I had improved, did you?”

Laura shook her head. “No one except Graeme and his family. They wouldn’t have said anything, knowing you are in danger, not even Mirabelle.”

“Everyone views their visit today as a ‘last good-bye’?”

“Yes.” The words sent a shiver through Laura.

“I made it clear to Owen that he must not gossip with the other servants about my condition. I dangled a permanent position as my valet as a carrot, so I think he will keep his mouth shut.”

“What about this evening? I imagine Walter will visit you again, and Tessa. Claude usually comes to see you in the evening, as well.”

“Checking to see how his plan is progressing, no doubt.”

“James, you don’t know that.”