Page 91 of A Winter Scandal

The other man shook his head once, briefly. “Please, present my apologies to Miss Bainbridge. I should go now. Tell her I shall return another time to see the boy.”

Rawdon strode away, but he paused at the door and turned back. “The reason I left the other day was to meet a man in Oxford—a Bow Street Runner I have used in the past. I hired him to look for Jocelyn. If I hear anything from him, I will let you know.”

“Thank you.”

With a nod, Rawdon left the room. He must have met Thea in the hallway, for Gabriel heard the murmur of voices, Thea’s lighter one mingling with Rawdon’s crisp tones. Gabriel stood, unmoving, still stunned, his thoughts spinning, until Thea walked into the room a moment later.

“Gabriel?” She paused just inside the door, then hurried forward. “What is it? What happened? You look like—well, I don’t know what.”

“Like a man who’s been kicked in the midsection?”

“What happened?” Thea repeated as she slipped her hands around his arm and looked up at him in concern. “Lord Rawdon looked a bit … overset, as well.”

“We talked. I—he told me that everything I’d believed was wrong, and I knew … I knew when I looked in his eyes that he was telling me the truth.”

“You mean, more than what you learned in the letter?”

Gabriel nodded. “Yes. Not just that Jocelyn did not fear or hate him, not just that he isn’t Matthew’s father. He swore that he had never touched the woman whom I was sure he had hurt and compromised. He swore that he had never hit a woman or forced her, and … I believed him. I think … I think perhaps he loved Jocelyn more than I ever realized.”

“But what about the things he said to you when you confronted him? The callous disregard for where Jocelyn had gone?”

“A pretense.” Gabriel shrugged. “That rings true enough. Pride was always Alec’s besetting sin. He was never one to let anyone learn the extent of his injuries, whether they were to his body or his heart. I should have known it at the time. I should not have confronted him like that. He would never back down, never let his weakness show if he was attacked. He would lash out instead—and Rawdon always went for the jugular.”

“I’m sorry.”

“So am I.” Gabriel looked down at her, his face etched with regret. “I did a terrible thing, Thea. I think Jocelyn broke Rawdon’s heart when she left. And I … I turned on him, too. At a time when he needed a friend the most. I didn’t believe him, didn’t trust him. I assumed he was wicked, not even giving him a chance to explain.”

“You were in pain, as well,” Thea pointed out. “And he could have acted differently. He could have explained himself, answered your questions.”

“Yes. He was proud. I was furious. The result is our friendship was destroyed.”

“Perhaps it can be repaired.”

“I think not. Rawdon is colder, more bitter. And he was never a man who gave his friendship easily. Things change, and one can rarely return.”

Thea slipped her arms around Gabriel’s waist and leaned her head against his chest. The pain inside him, he realized with some surprise, felt eased by her touch. He bent and kissed the top of her head. She was warm and soft in his arms, and immeasurably precious. He wondered what he would feel if she suddenly disappeared, leaving only a note behind, and his insides tightened painfully.

He kissed her again, then stepped back, releasing her reluctantly. “There is something I have to do. Will you forgive me if I do not stay?”

“Of course. Where are you going?”

“To the Priory. I have a few questions I need answered.”

Gabriel found Ian in the smoking room at the rear of the house. He was relieved to see that his friend was alone. Ian looked up as Gabriel entered, his expression wary, but he relaxed when he saw Gabriel.

“It’s you. Thank God.”

“Who were you expecting?”

“Emily. She has been after me to leave for the Park since Christmas. It was hard to convince her we needed to remain when our host had disappeared.”

“My apologies,” Gabriel answered drily. He closed the door behind him and walked over to where Ian sat.

His friend watched him approach. Ian set the drink he had been sipping down on the low table beside him. “What is it? You look—” Ian stiffened and rose to his feet. “Did you find Jocelyn?”

“No. I have no idea where she is, any more than I have for the last year. I wanted to ask you about something else. Do you remember what you told me, not long after Jocelyn left, about Miss Fortner and Rawdon?”

“Yes.” Ian frowned. “What about it?”