Page 14 of Ignite My Heart

I step onto the porch, and a breeze flutters through my hair. After grabbing a bottle of water, I sit in one of the two heavy Adirondack chairs. I can see myself sitting on this porch with a cup of coffee, looking out at the well-maintained landscape behind the house. It’s unsettling how right this moment feels.

I watch Garrett doing manual labor, the play of his muscles in his back as he bends over the saw horse.

Pretty sure that noise I just heard was the unlocking of a new kink.

The question is… is it shirtless home improvement on the whole or just Garrett Whitmore. I squeeze my eyes shut so my brain won’t answer that question.

He makes a cut on a board, followed by another, jotting down a note in the small spiral notebook he pulls from his back pocket. His determined stride toward the porch puts my entire body on alert. I ignore the pang of disappointment that rockets through me when he goes to his cooler and gets a drink before lowering his broad body into the adjacent Adirondack.

We sit in companionable silence for a while, drinking from our chilled bottles of water.

"JD is a good guy," Garrett finally says.

I chuckle. "You know, he said the same about you."

"That's always good to hear."

"Seems like everyone around here thinks you're not just a good guy but the best guy," I say.

"Everyone but you." His words linger in the quiet around us.

"What if I'm the one who's wrong?"

He glances at me. "How do you figure?"

There’s nothing accusatory in his expression. Instead, he has subtle lines fanning out from the corners of his eyes. Permanent etches into his skin are concrete proof of how much this man smiles.

It hits me then and nearly knocks the wind from me. I’ve been playing the victim. I almost groan as the realization settles into my bones. Garrett didn’t wrong me. Yes, he was friendly. Yes, he flirted. But he never made me any promises. I heard the rumor he was going to ask me out, but it never happened, and I’ve blamed him for years.

I snort. Over dramatic much, Felicity?

“I’m just saying that maybe I perceived things a certain way, but it’s not actually how it happened.”

“I feel like you're speaking in riddles,” he says with a chuckle.

“Jared says I'm wrong about you. He says I don't know the full story about Kathleen and everything she did. We could pretend I haven’t been back in town for nearly two weeks, making a mess of things. We could just catch up. Like old friends.” I offer him a grin.

I’m gifted with a genuine smile in return. “We can do that.” He holds a hand out to me. “Welcome home, Sassy Pants.”

I laugh because it’s been years since he’s called me that. “I’d forgotten about that nickname.”

“I hadn’t. The truth is you don’t know the full story about Kathleen. Still, nothing she did or said changes that I dated her. On and off for nearly a decade. That's on me.”

“So, will you tell me? What happened? Because from my side of things, it looked and felt like you and I were on track to becoming more than friends. I heard rumors you were going to ask me to Homecoming, and the next thing I knew, you were dating my best friend.” I barrel on before he can answer. “I know this is all water under the proverbial bridge, so we don’t have to rehash it if you don’t want to. And frankly, you don’t owe me an explanation. I’m sorry that I’m only realizing that now.”

“I want to tell you. Kathleen should have come clean to you herself, but it took her nearly nine years to tell me everything.”

I nod. “Well, Kathleen was always self-centered. It didn’t bother me through most of our friendship because I was comfortable being in the background. I didn’t need to be in the spotlight like she did. I was content to carry her water, so to speak. Until you.”

Garrett sighs. “I’m sorry if I screwed up y’all’s friendship.”

“Oh, please. It was never more than a mean girl and her minion. Well, that and our moms were friends, which is how things truly got started.”

“I was going to ask you to Homecoming. I made the mistake of asking Kathleen’s opinion on something. Frankly I don’t even remember specifically what it was. Something about your favorite color or song, probably. In any case, she told me that you didn’t see me like that. To you, I was more a brother or cousin like Jared. Then she told me that even if I did ask and you said yes, it wouldn’t matter. She knew I was looking for forever, and she said you were hell-bent on leaving this town as soon as you graduated, so I’d be lucky if I made it to prom night with you.”

Even hearing those words from his mouth for the first time, I can imagine Kathleen saying them.

“For the record, I never saw you as a brother or cousin or anything like that. I liked you. A lot.”