Page 4 of Love at First Write

“I did. I didn’t sign Tom’s name or anything; I didn’t sign it at all, actually. So it started innocently enough. But then she wrote back and, I wrote back, and she became a light for me. You know what I mean, man?”

Dylan nods. “Yeah, I know. Sometimes those lights are all you’ve got.”

“Exactly.”

“You really should have told her,” Dylan says.

“Yeah. Sound advice. Too bad you didn’t give it earlier.

“This is the first I’m hearing about it. What did you think was going to happen?”

“Well, I didn’t think Tommy was going to go home the day he got out and announce to the entire town that he was engaged. I thought I still had a few more days.” I pinch the bridge of my nose trying to ward off the impending headache. “She just sent me a scathing email basically telling me to fuck right off.”

Dylan chuckles. “What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know yet. She told me not to bother writing her back. But I’m going to anyways.”

“You’re our breacher, man. You get us into buildings no matter what the situation. You’ve got this.”

“I don’t think I should use explosives to get her attention.”

“Probably not.”

“As soon as this mission is over, I’m done. Then I’ll go to her.”

Dylan stands. “Write your email. Maybe start with an apology.”

Then I’m left alone again with my laptop.

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: RE: surprise

Kelsie,

I’m so sorry.

If I could go back and do things right, I would.

I know I should have told you the truth sooner. I was waiting for the right time, but obviously I missed my chance.

Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Ethan Fox. That’s really the only thing you don’t know about me. Everything else I said to you was the absolute truth. I have no real place I call home. I’ve been a SEAL for too long. I’m pretty sure I’ve lost most of the hearing in my left ear.

I tell her the story of Tom and her box of goodies and the letter he wasn’t going to respond to.

I couldn’t let that go, Kelsie. Couldn’t let your letter just go unanswered. I had to reach out to you, especially since your letter had been so earnest and thoughtful. I never expected you to write me back.

I never expected to fall for you.

I never expected you at all.

I know you’re not ready to forgive me, but I hope someday you’ll remember all of the letters and emails we’ve shared. How we’ve analyzed episodes of Ancient Aliens and all the recipe ideas you’ve told me about.

I need you to know what a lifeline you’ve been for me. That probably sounds cliche. But if you walk away from this, I want to know you understand that you have been it for me. I’ve never had anyone to write to the whole time I’ve been in service.

That makes me sound like a fucking loser, but it’s the truth. I didn’t expect you to write back after that first letter. I sure as fuck didn’t expect your emails. But there you were, showing up for me again and again. Making me smile, making me feel again when I thought the inside of my chest was hollow. No one has ever done that for me. So yeah, I fell for you.